


Stay With Me

by MyFandomCausesHanaji



Series: Love story in three parts [3]
Category: Chinese Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, 博君一肖, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: Banter, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cheese, Comfort, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Final chapter and epilogue are missing but drafts are provided, First Love, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Nyctophobia, Original Character(s), Romance, Set in theoretical winter 19/20, Skinship, Slow Build, Snowboarding, Vacation in Switzerland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-11-08 13:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFandomCausesHanaji/pseuds/MyFandomCausesHanaji
Summary: Some time ago, answering a fan's question of whether he would admit his feelings once he fell in love with someone, he said, that that would be too much of a risk, that he wouldn't do it. And he believed in what he said back then.But he had no idea how hard it would be to keep this to himself once it actually happens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I did that again. This series has now three parts and I promise, I’m gonna wrap it up in this one.  
The reason behind adding a new part is that the events here will be pure fantasy, and not based on any real events that have already happened, compare to what I was writing in Part 2.  
I hope it is not too annoying or confusing.  
This part will take place during their one week of vacation in Switzerland (which was mentioned in Part 2 and in this [related oneshot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20712959)). 
> 
> I am incredibly grateful to all of you for going on that ride with me, leaving kudos and all those amazing comments in the previous two parts of this series. When I posted the first chapter I couldn’t expect to get such wonderful feedback!  
I really appreciate the attention you guys give to this story, I wouldn’t be able to get this far without your feedback. Thank you so much!
> 
> The title is from [BLACKPINK - Stay](https://youtu.be/FzVR_fymZw4), the song WYB and XZ [were singing on the set.](https://youtu.be/8Zmv017TCZE?t=122)

To say he is tired would be an understatement of the century. His complaints on exhaustion during  _ The Untamed  _ filming now sound invalid in his own head when he is looking at them through the filter of almost four days with close to no sleep at all. And even his near-death (not really but it sure felt that way then) experience during the meeting in Thailand when he had to fly to Milan the moment it was over and spent more time on the planes those two days than he was sleeping, looks just like a warm up for what he is faced with now.

Which is an eleven-hour flight to Zurich followed up by a four-hour train ride to Verbier, and Xiao Zhan is just way too jiggered already to actually be frightened of the perspective. He probably should though. He will most likely black out somewhere in the middle of this trip and it will be Yibo’s problem to get the both of them to their destination.

Xiao Zhan would’ve felt bad about actually hoping for this to happen, because he is not too eager to move his own feet on his own right now, but he couldn’t care less, and if YiBo couldn’t find any snowy mountain for them to snowboard on any closer to China, Xiao Zhan is not going to feel guilty about spending the road to there unconscious. 

YiBo will just have to carry him there. It is his turn now after all.

Also, he is late. He is half running half crawling his way to his gate, phone in hand, and he can only guess that the constant vibrations it gives is YiBo threatening him with bodily damage for being so unreliable. 

It is not his fault though; his flight to Beijing got delayed and it is truly a miracle that he even got here on time to ― theoretically, if he hurries ― get to their plane to Zurich in the last possible moment. The perspective of spending the next eleven hours of his life inside the plane again makes him a bit nauseous, but he figures he will probably fall asleep the moment his body touches the seat, so it might be fine. With all the obnoxiousness YiBo’s slim body stores, the boy has shown himself to be extremely considerate around Xiao Zhan when he is dead on his feet.

Just in case though, Xiao Zhan picks up a few bags of different snacks in the Duty Free for the boy to munch on when he will get tired of sitting still near the unconscious Xiao Zhan. He is paying for them, when his phone vibrates again and he spares a quick glance at it.

_ I swear I  _ ** _will _ ** _ leave without you!  _ it reads and a string of angry emojis follows. 

When Xiao Zhan finally gets to the plane ― he is the last one, because, of course ― and makes his way to their seats in the business class, he expects to be met with an angry rant and a few hits, but clearly he should’ve already adjusted his expectations when it comes to YiBo, because it is not 2018 anymore and they are not on  _ The Untamed  _ set, and this, whatever it is, is just a bit more real now.

YiBo is chewing on his nails, eyes ― slightly reddened but dry― glued to his phone screen and his whole posture is like a compressed spring. He flinches and jerks his head up when he hears the door to the plane being closed behind Xiao Zhan’s back, and his adam apple bobs when he swallows when he sees him.

YiBo smiles with relief and despite how little energy is left in Xiao Zhan’s body, he feels his lips curl up in a smile too. YiBo raises his feet up, curling in a chair giving Xiao Zhan room to get to the seat near the window. He drops himself in it with a loud huff, closes his eyes and elbows YiBo lightly, because it is all he can manage now.

“I thought you didn’t like sitting near the isle,” Xiao Zhan mumbles and opens one eye to glance at YiBo. They haven’t seen each other for more than a month and he knows that he owes him ― and actually wants to give ― more than a one-eye side glance, but he simply doesn’t have the energy for more. 

YiBo is  _ looking _ . That way that Xiao Zhan noticed him looking during the meeting in Thailand, and later, when he finally had some free time after the fashion week in Milan, he decided to watch a few behind-the-scenes videos he had been ignoring before, as well as a couple of interviews they gave together. It was… revelating. 

“Figured if you are as tired as you were the last time we took a plane together, you’d want to sleep through it,” YiBo answers, eyes roaming Xiao Zhan’s face. “You do look hella tired,” he adds.

“You meant I look like hell,” Xiao Zhan groans. 

“Zhan-ge always looks handsome,” YiBo objects with a small one-sided smirk. “You okay?”

“No,” Xiao Zhan answers honestly. He is so exhausted he is not sure he is not actually dreaming it all. Maybe he just passed out on his way to the plane and is still lying there on the floor somewhere, and YiBo flew to Switzerland without him, and now he will hate him, and Xiao Zhan will also hate himself, and they will probably never see each other again, because their schedules are so packed, and Xiao Zhan just missed the only opportunity to spend a whole week with YiBo, away from everyone and everything, and he has been anticipating it so much, and he has missed YiBo  _ so much _ it actually hurt a little and now― 

“Zhan-ge! Ge, hey,” the familiar voice cuts in in the sleepy haze filling his mind and he feels someone shaking his shoulder lightly. He opens his eyes and is surprised to feel his eyelashes damp. YiBo’s face is hovering over him and Xiao Zhan is taken aback by the naked worry written across it. Xiao Zhan brings his hand up and rubs at his eyes. Did he just black out and cried in his sleep? God, he really does need some rest.

“I’m sorry, Bo-di,” he says softly and gives YiBo a weak smile. “I have barely slept the past few days.”

YiBo looks in his eyes intensely, as if he is checking that Xiao Zhan is really there and not passed out again with his eyes closed. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this trip is such a pain for you,” he asks almost angrily and Xiao Zhan is not sure what this anger is directed at.

“You would’ve made me go anyway, YiBo,” Xiao Zhan tries for a joke, but in the state he is in it sounds like he means it seriously, and YiBo looks at him in disbelief. 

“No,” he says dryly. “I wouldn’t have, gege. Do you really think―”

“It’s fine, Bo-di,” Xiaos Zhan interrupts him with a weak smile. “I would’ve done it anyway, YiBo.” YiBo looks at him skeptically, still frowning slightly, but apparently seeing that Xiao Zhan is not really drawing his last breath now, relaxes and sits back in his seat. “I didn’t do it just to please you, you know,” Xiao Zhan adds and yawns nearly dislocating his jaw. He rubs at his eyes again and turns to YiBo. The other is looking at him with a somewhat insecure expression and Xiao Zhan is not sure what to make of it.

He can’t help but smile though, and YiBo slowly smiles in return, and Xiao Zhan feels the most content he’s felt in the past month.

_ I really missed him,  _ he thinks, and only in the last possible moment bites his cheek before saying this out loud.

“It’s good to see you, Bo-di,” he says instead, and feels happy when YiBo’s smile widens.

“Back at you, Zhan-ge,” YiBo answers. “You should probably sleep though,” he adds, and Xiao Zhan nods, sliding a bit lower in his seat.

“Seven days, YiBo,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and bumping his head at YiBo’s shoulder. It suddenly feels too heavy to lift and so he just leaves it there. The shoulder is hard and bony but right now he really couldn't care less. 

“Yeah.”

“I’m sleeping through the first one,” Xiao Zhan says and lets out a half-content sigh ― it feels almost heavenly to be able to keep his eyes closed. 

“Anything you want, ge…” comes a quiet answer.

“Bo-di…”

“Hm?”

“Bought snacks for you.” His tongue feels heavy and barely responsive, and he lets out a frustrated huff. “In m’bag,” he adds, reaching blindly to clap twice on YiBo’s thigh. “Eat ‘em.”

YiBo pats his hand briefly and says with a smile in his voice, “Gege is so attentive.”

“For you, didi,” Xiao Zhan mumbles and then whines, pouting his lips, “We’ll have just six days.” 

“Whole six days, ge.” YiBo’s voice is warm and Xiao Zhan feels reassured by the confidence he hears in it. 

He finds some strength to move his head a bit, searching for a more comfortable position and nuzzles YiBo’s hoodie. “Smells nice.”

“It’s a detergent.”

“Nah. Just six days, Bo-di… M’sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You already did…” he thinks he hears through the heavy weight of the downing sleep and he wonders if he just imagined it.

He falls asleep as soon as the plane takes off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole part was supposed to be about snowboarding but my brain said I gotta write 6k+ in 2.5 chapters about them just getting there, so here you go, enjoy xz and wyb being tired and miserable on different means of transportation xD  
I actually seriously can't believe this whole 4k+ chapter is basically about them waiting for a train... What am I gonna do with the rest of this story? I have only the ending planned, I've no idea what I'm doing...
> 
> For all who's been asking: I feel better about that situation with fans now, besides, apparently all those shitty deeds were done not by the bjyx fans but by some fake ones, and though this doesn't make the whole situations any better, it is good to know that there are hopefully no totally mentally challenged people in this fandom. 
> 
> Also, you guys rock! thank you all again for the comments and discussions!

He wakes up while they are still in the air and he feels a brief disappointment over this fact. Staying asleep for the whole duration of the flight would be really convenient.

This or his whole body would’ve hurt like hell from being stuck in an uncomfortable position for so long. 

There is something special about spending long flights alongside someone. Nothing really can compare with that. You are stuck in a tight compartment high above the ground for hours and not only can’t you take a break outside, you can’t really leave your seat most of the time. You are bored, tired and miserable, and your legs are screaming at you to stand up or at least stretch them in front of you. You are being fed whatever food they decide to feed you and just wait for this to be over. 

Planes are pretty much just huge boxes made of steel and full of misery and for the duration of a flight the people around you are your temporary family. You can love them or you can hate them, but you can’t get away from them, and if something happens, you will all die together.

Being miserable together has a long history of connecting people. It is better if you are being miserable with a close friend who you trust. In the worst case scenario you will just hate each other by the end of a flight. Or your bond will only tighten through this, confirming that your friendship is not just a pretty word.

When it is not the first flight of your day and you can’t really remember when was the last time you slept more than three hours and in an actual bed, it multiplies the hardships of a plane journey tenfold.

Thankfully, Xiao Zhan has already experienced before on multiple occasions being exhausted, miserable and angry at the whole world in YiBo’s presence, and though the boy has often tried to rile him up from this very sensitive state just to make fun of him, they have never clashed over being too tired to be nice, so when Xiao Zhan opens his eyes and discovers a blanket thrown over him and some soft folded fabric under his head, he is very grateful to be having YiBo as his companion in this stupidly long journey. 

It might also have something to do with the fact that they are actually going vacationing together, but they still need to actually get there, and right now the journey itself has a higher relevance.

Xiao Zhan lifts his head and YiBo’s hoodie falls on his lap. No wonder that it smelled familiar. He frees himself from the blanket around him with some effort ― it was neatly tucked in between his body and his seat ― and turns to his right.

There is a mound covered in a blanket on the seat near him and it is only distinctly resembles a human sitting with his feet up. Xiao Zhan leans closer and finds a little opening and he carefully pulls at the blanket. He discovers the top of YiBo’s head who, from the look of it, is hiding his face in his bended knees, absolutely dead to the world. His legs will hate him from falling asleep in such a position, but Xiao Zhan simply can’t find it in himself to wake the boy, and he smiles softly, carefully arranging YiBo’s cocoon back into place. 

He checks the time ― just three hours of the flight left, not bad ― and carefully makes his way past the sleeping YiBo to the bathroom. His brain is a bit less fuzzy and dizzy now, but he still feels rather disgusting. But at least now he will probably manage to get to the ski resort without blacking out.

He cleans up a bit in the bathroom, regretting that he didn’t think to bring a toothbrush on board. A flight attendant catches him before he can go to his seat, asking if he is hungry ― apparently he missed lunch. Dinner? God, what time is it now even?.. She offers to bring it once she heats it up, but he decides to wait, using this opportunity to stretch his legs.

When he is given his meal and he heads back, YiBo has already unwrapped himself and is now sitting with his legs down, chewing on the crackers Xiao Zhan bought for him and browsing something on his phone. He looks up when Xiao Zhan walks closer and stands up to let him to his seat.

“Didn’t want to wake you up,” YiBo says, pointing at the tray of food in Xiao Zhan’s hands.

Xiao Zhan sits down, putting the tray on the little table in front of him and handing YiBo’s hoodie back to him. “Thank you, YiBo.”

YiBo nods, taking the hoodie and putting it on. He huffs when his head emerges from it and brushes his hair back from his face. It doesn’t really help much, he still looks like someone who has spent the past several hours taking roots in a not so comfortable plane seat, and Xiao Zhan lets out a short silent laugh. YiBo hits his shoulder and points at his face.

“You have a crease print on your cheek,” he says with a half-smirk. “From the hoodie. Looks stupid,” he adds and smirks.

Xiao Zhan slaps his arm and sticks his hand in the bag of crackers YiBo is still holding, grabbing several and shoving them all in his mouth.

“Hey, that’s mine―”

“I bought it! And haven’t you said―”

“You have plenty of food, eat your own food!”

“Sharing is caring, YiBo! And you said I always look handsome.”

“I am sharing! I gave Zhan-ge my hoodie to sleep on, so Zhan-ge’s head doesn’t― Hey, stop stealing my crackers!”

Xiao Zhan snitches a few more crackers and bares his teeth at YiBo whose face is doing this complicated shift between a wide grin and a mocking indignation. Xiao Zhan doesn’t really want the crackers, but he should have his revenge.

“Calling my face stupid, YiBo, so mean to your gege, and I even bought the snacks for you.”

YiBo shoves the bag of crackers behind his back away from Xiao Zhan’s reach, and grabs his wrists when Xiao Zhan tries to get to it.

“I wouldn’t dare call Zhan-ge’s face stupid, Zhan-ge’s face is always handsome!” YiBo says with a quiet laugh and raises his knees when Xiao Zhan aimes to tickle his sides.

Xiao Zhan retreats back to the space of his own seat and shakes his head, smiling. He looks at YiBo sideways and laughs when the boy wiggles his brows. 

“I haven’t had enough sleep for this, YiBo,” he says honestly and YiBo nods, pulling his phone from his pocket and instantly burying his nose in it. 

They fall into a comfortable silence, Xiao Zhan unwrapping his food and digging in, YiBo doing something on his phone, letting out a yawn once in a while, and sneaking glances at either Xiao Zhan’s food or Xiao Zhan himself ― he can’t really tell for sure from this angle. 

He tries to fall asleep after he has eaten again, but it’s no use. 

They don’t talk when the plane lands and they get up from their seats, silently helping each other, Xiao Zhan picking up the half-finished crackers bag from where YiBo forgot it in the pocket of the front seat, YiBo taking out Xiao Zhan’s backpack from the luggage compartment above, glancing at him skeptically and, apparently having found Xiao Zhan too weary to be carrying his own bag, silently puts it on his own shoulder and heads to the exit. 

They pull on their masks on in the line to the passport control, and YiBo is wearing his cap. Xiao Zhan wonders if the boy can actually see anything like that. 

Xiao Zhan is swaying on his feet and YiBo is yawning subtly behind his mask. If Xiao Zhan looks from the side in the thin gap between the cap and the top of the mask, he can see how the boy’s nose bridge wrinkles at the action, eyes squeezed shut, reminding Xiao Zhan of sleepy puppies who manage to yawn with their whole faces ― silent but impressive, and Xiao Zhan can’t help but yawn in response. 

“What do you have there, Zhan-ge, stones?” YiBo asks in a hoarse voice.

“Clothes. Some,” Xiao Zhan answers. “I was changing flights. If my luggage gets lost you will thank me for the forethought.”

YiBo looks at him ― or makes it look like he looks at him, because all Xiao Zhan can see is the front of the boy’s cap, so he doubts YiBo actually sees anything himself, but Xiao Zhan appreciates the gesture.

“I could’ve shared mine, you know. We’re about the same size, Zhan-ge.”

Something about the thought of wearing YiBo’s clothes stirs something in Xiao Zhan’s chest and he coughs and reaches for his backpack on YiBo’s shoulder. YiBo lets him take it and Xiao Zhan huffs in surprise ― it seems heavier than he remembers, he really is on his limit.

“No need, YiBo, but thanks,” he says, putting the backpack on his back and he thinks he hears the muffled ‘ _ Shame’ _ from YiBo before he looks away.

They pass the security and then are stuck waiting for their luggage. The conversations are scarce, their interaction eventually reducing to quiet, almost absent minded  _ Zhan-ge,  _ tired and flat  _ Bo-di _ , and glance-reading that they mastered last year on the set. And the way Xiao Zhan somehow understands what is standing behind each and every of Yibo’s  _ Zhan-ge _ reminds him of the way he can read each of Jianguo’s different meows. Only Jianguo is his cat, and YiBo is his own person and not even a cat, and somehow it feels even more significant this way, and if Xiao Zhan wasn’t that tired he would’ve probably actively enjoyed interpreting the way YiBo says his name and getting a satisfied smile in return, and if YiBo also wasn’t as tired as him he would’ve probably given him those smiles.

Speaking of which.

“When was the last time you slept, YiBo?” Xiao Zhan asks from where he is sitting on YiBo’s huge suitcase that the boy generously offered him to rest on once it had arrived. 

“On the plane, you saw,” YiBo answers. He is sitting on the floor, back propped on the side of the suitcase that they thankfully had enough brain power left between the two of them to set against one of the pillars, so it doesn’t try to roll away.

Xiao Zhan sighs and follows with his eyes another portion of the suitcases thrown on the luggage line ― still not a trace of his own.

“Before that,” he clarifies.

YiBo hums, raises his cap, fixing his hair, and puts it back on again. 

“Don’t remember,” he says with a shrug, and Xiao Zhan risks to tear his eyes from watching the luggage line to settle his heavy gaze on the top of YiBo’s head, with the hope that the boy would feel the weight of it.

“Don’t remember?” he repeats in a flat tone.

YiBo shrugs again, bends his neck apparently attempting to look at Xiao Zhan, but gives up and puts his chin on his arms that are folded on his bended knees.

“Had to free this week somehow, Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan opens his mouth to ask YiBo how exactly he even managed to talk his manager into giving him this free week, but this conversation seems like too much effort, too many words and not urgent enough, so he saves it for later and shuts his mouth.

Eventually the flow of suitcases on the line dies down and they are the last ones remaining near it. YiBo stands up, stretches and kicks the suitcase under Xiao Zhan. Xiao Zhan gives him an unimpressed stare that the boy most likely doesn’t even see because of that damn cap and stands up. 

They silently head out, YiBo pushing his suitcase beside him ― now the only suitcase they have between the two of them. It doesn’t take long to report the lost luggage, and then they spend some time trying to figure out how to buy a ticket on the train to the main train station. Then it is a surprisingly fast ride and they find themselves in the middle of the city with two more hours to kill before their train to Verbier and too little energy to enjoy this time thoroughly.

Or so Xiao Zhan has thought, before YiBo takes off his cap, pulls down his mask, smiles, says  _ Let’s go, Zhan-ge! _ and pulls him toward the exit.

It is dark, and Xiao Zhan brings up his phone to check the time. It’s four in the morning and he just silently shows the screen to YiBo.

“Wow,” YiBo says. “I didn’t actually realise. It’s like travelling back in time, Zhan-ge. Like we didn’t actually have to fly here, you know?”

Xiao Zhan is pretty sure the time difference is less than the duration of their flight, but he has no brain power to even try to do the math, and besides YiBo’s delight is too amusing.

“We won’t see anything, YiBo, let’s go back inside, please?” Xiao Zhan begs and YiBo frowns at him.

“Fine, I will have some mercy on your old bones, Xiao-laoshi,” he says turning back.

“You look as pale and shitty as I feel, Wang-laoshi. Don’t try to pretend you wouldn’t have killed for a bed now.”

YiBo throws an intimidating glance at him but the effect is ruined when he tries to suppress a yawn, his whole face puckering in an effort. Xiao Zhan is too tired to pretend it is not funny and he bursts into laughter, immediately getting two slaps on his arms.

“I  _ never  _ look shitty, Zhan-ge!” YiBo shouts. “I look gorgeous twenty-four-seven! You take it back!”

“Alright, alright, stop hitting me, YiBo!”

This little exchange leaves them both drained and they plod slowly inside the station in search for a place that is open and serves coffee.

“Zhan-ge,” YiBo mumbles pulling at Xiao Zhan’s sleeve and pointing somewhere.

Xiao Zhan looks up, and of course, McDonald’s is open at such an hour.

It is quiet, almost eerily so for this place. Several sleepy people are eating at the tables, and there is just one man buying something, talking with the similarly sleepy cassier. 

Xiao Zhan is not sure he can stomach any solid food now and judging by YiBo’s sour expression the boy is in a similar state. 

“Zhan-ge,” YiBo mutters without looking at him and Xiao Zhan just sighs heavily.

They take coffee and settle down at the free table in the corner. YiBo downs his espresso, winces and then puts his elbows on the table, face in his palms, and closes his eyes.

When YiBo is tired he is having those bursts of energy and then periods of staring into nothing with empty eyes in between. Now after having his coffee and being able to close his eyes, Xiao Zhan expects him to recover for the next outburst in about half an hour. 

Xiao Zhan is slowly sipping his coffee and with nothing else to do studying YiBo.

The boy is wrapped in a big down jacket that makes him look even thinner and his head even smaller. His hair is disheveled and he is paler than usual, brows are furrowed and lips slightly parted. He looks weary and Xiao Zhan wants to just grab him and wrap himself around him and his down jacket is probably so soft and fluffy and suddenly falling asleep cuddling in the corner of the McDonald’s restaurant sounds as such a great idea, and couldn’t YiBo have chosen a train for earlier, so they didn’t have to wait, and― 

Xiao Zhan groans in his misery and YiBo half-opens one similarly miserable eye to look at him.

“Zhan-ge,” he mouths and somehow Xiao Zhan knows it means at the same time  _ Hold on, Zhan-ge, you can do it  _ and  _ Didi feels so bad, ge, make it better. _ And Xiao Zhan would be happy to, only he himself is in a similar state.

YiBo closes the eye and sighs. He is painful to look at and Xiao Zhan is in enough pain on his own already. 

He is pretty sure vacations are not supposed to be about struggling to stay awake and alive on the way there. It is probably much easier for others though.

But he knows only some good things come to you on their own. Like YiBo waltzing into his life more than a year ago and being just a step away from making his home there. For other things you need to work for. Like for this opportunity to spend some time away from the curious eyes of the fans and journalists. 

So Xiao Zhan is not going to complain. He knows it will all be worth it. Doesn’t mean this somehow stops him from bitching about it now. 

“I hate you, YiBo,” he rasps. YiBo opens the other eye this time and looks at him with a blank expression. “The things I do for you,” Xiao Zhan whines.

YiBo changes the hand he is leaning on and yawns.

“This means you don’t hate me,” he says. “Or you wouldn’t―” Yawn. “...do it.”

There is nothing Xiao Zhan can counter it with so he just finishes his coffee. YiBo opens the second eye and now is looking at him blankly. 

“Next time you plan our vacation choose something closer, YiBo,” Xiao Zhan says grumpily. YiBo drops his hands on the table and looks at him with wide eyes. “What?”

YiBo straightens up in his chair, swallows and the surprised expression in his eyes gives place to something much softer, and he smiles, small, almost unsure, and Xiao Zhan has to think back to what he just said to make sense of this reaction. Oh.

_ Oh. _

“You want to do it again later? A vacation?” YiBo asks him quietly. “Just us?” he adds, and the intensity of hope in his eyes makes Xiao Zhan look away.

He clears his throat and takes ahold of his empty coffee cup, twisting it in his fingers.

“We’ll see how this one goes,” he says defensively but can’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “If you annoy me too much, I might change my mind,” he adds, looking up just in time to see YiBo’s smile widen, as he nods enthusiastically.

“I’ll be good, ge!” He says, grinning. Then something flickers in his eyes and the grin changes to a sly one sided smirk. He licks his lips and leans forward on his elbows, looking up at Xiao Zhan. “I can be  _ very  _ good for Zhan-ge,” he says in a low voice, his expression completely different from the childish joy from just a moment ago, and Xiao Zhan almost chokes when a wave of heat suddenly washes over him.

He shudders and looks away laughing breathlessly. 

He can feel YiBo’s gaze and he glances at him sideways, noting a smug smile playing on the boy’s lips.

“God, how do you even have the energy to smile?!” Xiao Zhan asks.

YiBo smirks and then pulls on the serious expression on his face looking at Xiao Zhan with such clear innocent eyes that Xiao Zhan can easily guess what’s coming next.

“Zhan-ge’s beauty always makes me smile!” YiBo shouts in english, making Xiao Zhan flinch, and he has to give it to the boy ― he sure didn’t expect the choice of the language. 

A couple of people on the other side of the restaurant glance at them with annoyance and then go back to either browsing their phones or whatever else they have been doing. A middle age man that has been dozing off two tables from them jolts awake, dropping an empty paper cup on the floor, and curses in the language Xiao Zhan doesn’t recognise, but he is sure it is the swearing he hears. 

“You’re a monster, YiBo,” Xiao Zhan tells the boy who looks very pleased with himself.

“Would’ve been boring otherwise,” YiBo answers, and Xiao Zhan smacks him from across the table.

Because of this little shake or thanks to the coffee they both are a bit more awake when they walk down to the platform their train should soon arrive to.

They navigate between the passengers, YiBo with his huge suitcase following Xiao Zhan, and the boy letting out occasional  _ Zhan-ge _ every few steps, that Xiao Zhan interprets as him being bored and done with this whole journey. Xiao Zhan can sympathise. He is however in no mood to entertain the boy so he just ignores him.

“Zhan-geee,” YiBo draws when they pass the first third of the platform.

“Zhan- _ ge! _ ” YiBo shouts in Xiao Zhan’s ear when they have to pause near the middle of the platform to give some room to a big group of loud and intensively gesticulating europeans with more luggage than people. 

“Geee,” YiBo whines behind him when they pass the group.

“Gege!” the boy shouts demandingly after a few more steps and Xiao Zhan finally gives in and turns around.

“Wh―”

His question is lost in the soft material of YiBo’s down jacket when the boy wraps his arms around Xiao Zhan and squeezes. 

“Ooph, YiBo, you’re gonna break my ri―”

“I’m so happy you came, Zhan-ge,” YiBo interrupts him. His nose is in the collar of Xiao Zhan’s coat and it sounds muffled and quiet and Xiao Zhan can’t really make it out whether the boy is genuine or just messing around again. While he is thinking how to answer, YiBo tightens the embrace even more. “Zhan-ge, I’m so happy you came,” he repeats.

“You… ugh… you said that already.” Xiao Zhan looks around but no one seems to be paying attention to them. He wraps his arms around YiBo, returning the hug, although he is more hugging the jacket rather than the boy himself, but YiBo huffs joyfully in his ear and Xiao Zhan smiles.

“Zhan-ge!”

“Bo-di.”

YiBo is not letting go and so they just stand like that, hugging in the middle of the train station with people around them, who seem not to care even a little about them, and such a simple act, though completely impossible in their homeland, now feels tenfold more important than all the hugs Xiao Zhan has ever given to all of his friends before.

“Bo-di,” he repeats quietly, smiling. YiBo huffs out a breath and saggs against him. “YiBo, are sleeping on me?”

“No?” comes a quiet answer and Xiao Zhan laughs breathlessly.

“Hold on, Bo-di, just four more hours and we are there,” he says.

YiBo straightens up but doesn’t let go.

“Actually we will need to take a bus, the train doesn’t go straight there, but it’s―”

“What?” The question sounds weak in Xiao Zhan’s ears, as he takes half a step back and stares at YiBo. “A bus?!” he asks in a hoarse whisper and YiBo swallows, looking at him with wide eyes.

“It’s just forty minutes though, Zhan-ge…”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

YiBo looks at him, blinks, then looks to the side, at his feet and then back at him.

“I didn’t want to upset you…”

Xiao Zhan groans, steps to a bench nearby, drops himself on it and then his face in his palms and lets out another pained groan.

“YiBo, you…” he can’t finish, just shakes his head and groans again.

“Zhan-ge?” YiBo asks unsure above him. Xiao Zhan hears him walk closer and crouch. “Zhan-ge, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, ge.” Xiao Zhan feels YiBo’s hands on his shoulders and his breath on the back sides of his palms, when the boy is apparently trying to peek through Xiao Zhan’s fingers to see his face. “It’s just a forty-minute ride, we won’t even have to wait long…” YiBo pulls at his wrists but Xiao Zhan doesn’t drop his hands, so the boy just leaves his fingers there. “Zhan-ge? Zhan-ge, I promise next time I will plan something simpler, but I saw that place and I thought you might like it, you like mountains, right? And the house is so nice. I mean chalet. You will like it, Zhan-ge, I promise!” He is stroking Xiao Zhan’s wrists with his fingers, sounding more panicked with each sentence he says. “Ge, look at me, ge, I will plan something closer next time, I promise, okay, just… Zhan-ge, Zhan-ge! Gege, it’s okay, we are almost there. You can sleep two days, ge, do you want? I promise I won’t bother you, we don’t even have to go snowboarding if you are tired, but those mountains are pretty, we can just go for a walk, or stay in the house, do you want to? Gege, I—“

Xiao Zhan doesn’t let him finish. He lifts his head, pulls his hands free from YiBo’s grip, wrapping one arm around the boy’s shoulders and putting another on the back of YiBo’s neck. He pulls him into an embrace, the second one of this day, but this one is different. YiBo shifts, planting his knees on the floor and putting his arms around Xiao Zhan’s waist. 

YiBo’s hair are soft under his fingers and his skin is warm. He tucks his face in the side of Xiao Zhan’s neck and Xiao Zhan more feels than hears him sigh in content.

They don’t let go until the train arrives.

Xiao Zhan expects YiBo start complaining about having to stand on the hard floor on his knees for so long, but the boy is just smiling and Xiao Zhan can’t help but smile in return.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gimme some love


	3. Day 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was suppose to be a longer chapter but I decided to split it in two to avoid writing myself into a trap of "I'm gonna write one chapter for one day of them there", cause I did that before and it failed miserably. Thanks, pommeideas, for keeping me from doing smth stupid like that :)  
The next chapter will be posted within the next couple of days, don't miss it :)
> 
> Also, I started watching _Gank Your Heart_ and it is like a fanfic in visual form, or Wang Yibo's centered reality show where he is trying to be a bit nicer <s>but still gay af</s> xD
> 
> I still have plenty of unanswered comments, I will get to them asap <3

The train ride is quiet. Xiao Zhan connects his phone to the train’s wifi ― bless the twenty-first century ― and they watch some Hollywood comedy, sharing headphones and propping their heads together less due to the inconvenience of the limited length of the headphones and more because their heads are too heavy now to keep them up. YiBo starts dozing off somewhere in the middle of the movie, until his head finally drops down, startling Xiao Zhan.

YiBo shudders and mumbles something in his sleep when Xiao Zhan carefully pulls the earphone out of his ear. He hesitates for a moment, looking around, but no one is paying them any mind. He sets an alarm and locks his phone, putting it in his pocket, hoping that if he doesn’t hear it he will at least be woken up by the vibration. He pulls out a beanie from the backpack and puts it on, the train not really as cold but he is feeling slightly feverish from the lack of sleep, and sags against the sleeping YiBo, pressing closer for the warmth and comfort of the other’s body beside him.

YiBo lets out a sleepy huff. Xiao Zhan folds his arms on his chest and closes his eyes. The last thing he thinks before falling asleep is how hard YiBo will be hitting him if they miss their stop.

He is woken up by someone shaking him violently and he unglues his eyes open with some effort. He has just a brief moment to note that YiBo looks though tired and dischieveld but much better than Xiao Zhan thinks he is supposed to, considering how long they have spent on the road already, when the boy is pulling him from his seat by the steel greep of the bony fingers on his arm, and Xiao Zhan grabs his backpack from the floor in the last moment, when he is being basically dragged toward the nearest doors. He only then notices the soft buzzing of his phone in the pocket of his jeans and that the train is not moving, but apparently, judging by the urgency with that YiBo is tagging him, is about to move again very soon. 

They practically fall out of the train car on the platform as if being kicked out of it. Xiao Zhan stops once they are outside and looks around. It’s already a morning, and he blinks against the bright light, while his hands are fumbling with the zipper on his coat and he barely closes it to the middle, when YiBo grabs his hand and violently yanks him toward one of the exits from the station, making Xiao Zhan nearly trip over himself.

“Go, go, Zhan-ge,” YiBo says without looking back at him. He is walking in wide strands, tugging Xiao Zhan and his suitcase after him ― that they haven’t forgotten it on the train is a miracle of its own ― and if Xiao Zhan didn’t know that this is YiBo’s first visit to Verbier he would’ve even considered that the boy actually knows where he is going. If anything, YiBo has shown a great talent in making it look so even when he has no idea what is going on. Some speculate that he is simply not smart enough to know when to stop or admit defeat. Xiao Zhan knows that it is in fact courage, confidence and determination to get better. Xiao Zhan admires this in him.

However, he is willing to change his mind if the boy will make them get lost in the unfamiliar town. Maybe they should’ve at least used a map app?..

“YiBo, where are we going?” Xiao Zhan asks tiredly when they walk out of the station and YiBo turns left on the street. Xiao Zhan is moving his legs as lazily as technically possible, making YiBo almost drag him. The boy doesn’t seem to mind, barely even paying him any attention, except for just squeezing his fingers around Xiao Zhan’s each time Xiao Zhan attempts to halt them.

“We need to pick up the key to the chalet from the owner, he texted he needs to leave earlier, hurry up, Zhan-ge,” YiBo explains hurriedly. 

Xiao Zhan looks at him stupidly, the words taking some time to register in his brain. YiBo’s fingers are cold in his and the tip of his left ear is getting redder with every moment. Xiao Zhan shudders at the blow of cold wind and reaches with his free hand to pull the hood of YiBo’s jacket over his head. He nearly falls while doing that, having to basically side step instead of just walking forward, and YiBo glances at him with surprise.

“What?”

“It’s cold,” Xiao Zhan says and sniffs, the tip of his nose starting to freeze.

YiBo smiles briefly, holds his gaze for another moment, and then turns away and picks up the pace.

“C’mon, Zhan-ge, there should be a parking lot behind that building, we’re meeting there.”

Xiao Zhan pulls his own hat lower on his head and finally zips up his coat all the way to his chin. It feels a bit warmer now.

“We are the first to arrive in the house?―”

“Chalet.”

“Thought some people would be already living there.”

YiBo doesn’t answer right away and Xiao Zhan gets distracted by the view around him. It is his second visit to Europe, and already feels very different from his time in Milan. The houses here are small, he can see mountains in the distance, and the air, though cold, feels fresh and nice in his lungs.

It is refreshing, almost liberating in a way to be that far from his home, to see so few people around. It is almost surreal to not just be here, but be here on his free time, and with YiBo of all people by his side. 

He smiles wide, squeezing YiBo’s fingers. YiBo throws a questioning glance over his shoulder and suddenly slows down, a question giving place to a brief surprise and then he smiles too, bright and so beautiful, squinting his eyes a bit against the morning sun, and Xiao Zhan’s next exhale comes with a quiet happy laugh.

It is almost scary how almost high YiBo’s smile makes him feel.

“No one esle will be in the chalet, Zhan-ge,” YiBo says. “I booked the whole place,” he adds, his smile transforming into a wicked grin when Xiao Zhan’s eyes widen, and he lets go of Xiao Zhan’s hand hopping two steps back from him and then turns around and starts running, suitcase in tow, laughing in his horrible goblin laugh.

“YiBo!” 

Xiao Zhan jogs after him, trying to maintain an angry face for when YiBo glancing over his shoulder with a smirk. That boy! He doesn’t do anything in half, does he?

They meet with the chalet owner, get their keys and then make a slow walk to the bus stop. It is a bit easier to stay awake while outside under a bright sun, but it can’t compensate for all the hours they spent on a road. 

The bus ride is relatively short, so they try not to blink too slow in order not to fall asleep, and they spend the ride gazing at the view outside the window.

When they finally arrive in the house ( _ Chalet _ , YiBo’s voice corrects in his head), Xiao Zhan is probably just one minute away from actually starting to hallucinate. This is the longest he has ever had to go without a proper sleep. If he didn’t have to work twice more and didn’t have four other flights earlier this week, he knows he would have handled this trip much better. Right now however he is on his limit. 

That’s why he barely spares the house a glance before going to the nearest door he spots. It turns out to be some kind of a storage room and he lets out a pained whine. YiBo tiredly mumbles something behind him and Xiao Zhan hears him follow when he heads to the next door. He prays to all that’s holy that this one will turn out to be a bedroom because he can’t see any more doors on this floor and he is not willing to climb the stairs to the second floor right now.

He opens the door and he is not even ashamed of the hoarse relieved moan he lets out when he spots a bed. Judging by a similar noise YiBo makes beside him the boy will not tease him about it either.

Xiao Zhan crosses the room to the bed, throwing his backpack on the floor and dropping down his coat. He wiggles out of one sneaker once he is near the bed, and pushes the second one off his foot with the toes of the other one while he is in the middle of a freefall toward faceplanting a pillow.

He lets out a long moan and closes his eyes, but YiBo’s voice cuts in in his almost starting dreams.

“No, Zhan-ge, you need to shower first, you can’t sleep like that,” the boy says somewhere on his right.

“YiBo,” Xiao Zhan rasps in the pillow, “If you make me stand up now and do something I might actually cry.” There is no answer, and Xiao Zhan can only hear YiBo’s uneven breathing. “Go to sleep,” Xiao Zhan adds.

“Mm.” YiBo just says, and Xiao Zhan feels a tiny spark of annoyance of the boy pulling off Lan WangJi on him now. He reaches blindly to where he thinks YiBo is hovering over him, grabs what feels like a handful of the boy’s hoodie and yanks.

“Sleep!”

YiBo falls down on Xiao Zhan like a bag of potatoes, and after some wiggling and kicking Xiao Zhan’s shins, the boy stills beside him with a loud sigh.

“Take off your shoes, Bo-di,” Xiao Zhan mumbles in the pillow. He gets no answer and he makes himself open his eyes and lift his head.

Somehow only now it actually registers in his slow brain that this room has only one, though big, bed, and YiBo is now fully asleep on the other side of it. Xiao Zhan notes this impassively and turns to his side, sitting up and reaching to untie YiBo’s sneakers. It takes stupidly long and for another moment he half-sleeps half-stares unseeingly at YiBo’s feet and then pulls the bottom of the comforter to throw it on them. Xiao Zhan knows what it is like to be tall and slim, his toes are almost constantly cold, and YiBo’s feet are so big it probably takes years for the blood to reach his toes. 

With this ridiculous thought Xiao Zhan tucks the comforter around the boy’s feet, nodding to himself, and then drops himself back on the bed with a huff.

He feels being slowly pulled toward the blissful land of dreams when YiBo mumbles something, letting out a long breath and fidgets a little. It is familiar and comforting. So strange, he hasn’t even thought he actually missed the days when he lived with his  _ XNINE  _ groupmates, all of them packed in a tiny room, beds shoved together to save space.

YiBo makes some grunting noise, throws an arm across Xiao Zhan’s chest and pulls himself closer, all without waking up.

_ When boys live together they are happy, _ Xiao Zhan remembers YiBo saying on numerous occasions. 

He is probably right although Xiao Zhan knows it is not the only reason the wave of happiness washes over him. It adds up to the exhaustion of his body and together they lull him to sleep. He falls asleep smiling into YiBo’s hair. 


	4. Day 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update cause I've got no chill! **Make sure you didn't miss Chapter 3!**
> 
> Ok so, this part of the series is pure fanservice, I think you all are agree with me, don't wanna hear any complains that it's too cheesy and you got diabetes or smth like that, okay? xD  
And if you think they spend too much time just smiling at each other, watch their interviews and bts and tell me what else I was supposed to do here xD

Xiao Zhan is hungry. He is so hungry in fact, he thinks that is what has actually woken him up. His stomach feels glued to his spine and what’s worse, he had those kind of dreams where he was eating but could never sate his hunger. It felt a bit like torture. Very beautiful and delicious, but torture.

He opens his eyes and sits up. Falling asleep in the clothes might have been a mistake but he didn’t really have much choice. He regrets it a bit now, but at least he finally feels rested, although slightly jet-lagged. His mouth tastes horrible, but he knows once he’s taken a shower and eaten, he will be his usual merry self. 

He moves to stand up and only now notices the blanket thrown over him. YiBo probably took it from one of the beds in other rooms. Xiao Zhan still can’t quite believe the boy booked the whole house. But however unexpected, it is not really that surprising. 

The door to the room opens and YiBo peeks inside.

“You’re awake, good. I just—“

“This is so weird…” Xiao Zhan interrupts him.

YiBo walks inside and leans on a wall. “What?”

“Remember that time I was so hungry I dreamt of eating salmon?” Xiao Zhan asks. It happened during the  _ The Untamed  _ filming, he whined about it for the rest of the day and when they had a free evening some time later they went to a Japanese restaurant. Xiao Zhan had never eaten so much Japanese food at once. It was glorious.

“Yeah?” YiBo answers carefully, raising a brow.

“I was dreaming of eggs,” Xiao Zhan says and nods. “Hm.”

“Eggs?”

“Yeah, fried eggs. And omelette.” Just talking about it makes his mouth salivate. His stomach rumbles and Xiao Zhan rubs it. “I can still feel the smell of fried eggs, this is so weird…” he draws miserably. YiBo chuckles and Xiao Zhan looks up at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” YiBo looks amused, but his smile is soft so Xiao Zhan concludes the boy is not making fun of him. Or at least hasn’t started yet. 

“But now it is more of a burnt smell…” 

“Burnt?...”

Xiao Zhan blinks in confusion and rubs at his eyes. Those food dreams are now bleeding into reality apparently. 

“Isn’t sensing a burnt smell a sign of some illness?!” Xiao Zhan looks at YiBo with wide eyes, but the boy is already turning around and leaving the room in a hurry. “Wait, YiBo, don’t leave me, what if I’m dying!”

There is a sound of something crashing, a muffled curse and then a more clear, “You are not!”

Xiao Zhan frees himself from the blanket, standing up, when the door opens again and YiBo walks in. He has a plate with something crooked and misshaped, and he sets it on a nightstand looking up at Xiao Zhan with clear big eyes and a proud smile. Xiao Zhan has a sudden urge to pat his head saying  _ Good boy! _ He shakes his head, and eyes the thing on the plate with suspicion. 

It  _ smells  _ like food. It doesn’t really look like one.

“What is this?” Xiao Zhan asks.

“Fried eggs on toast,” YiBo says proudly, like he just prepared a three course meal. “Figured you’d wake up starving.”

That explains the smell of eggs then. “Not dying then,” Xiao Zhan says.

“Nope.”

There is a pause, when Xiao Zhan’s reason is negotiating with his stomach, trying to determine if tasting the product of YiBo’s cooking skills ― or rather the lack thereof ― will be worth it.

“Are you going to stare at it or eat it?” YiBo finally asks. “I cut away the burned part, it’s not that bad, Zhan-ge, I promise.”

Xiao Zhan’s stomach rumbles again, he swallows and looks up.

“Breakfast in bed, YiBo, really, shouldn’t you take me to dinner first?” He hears himself saying along with  _ Abort! Abort!  _ that his brain is screaming at him _ . _

YiBo blinks, his face freezes in the impassive mask that Xiao Zhan knows the boy always uses while he is deciding on how to react next, and then he settles on throwing a disappointed look at Xiao Zhan. 

Xiao Zhan almost feels guilty.

“Technically, it  _ is _ a dinner,” YiBo says and then grabs the what apparently is an egg sandwich from the plate and bites in.

“Hey, give it back!” Xiao Zhan shouts, all reason forgotten when his stomach groans at him in displease. He attempts to take the sandwich from YiBo, but the boy takes another bite and dodges at the last moment. A piece of what looks like an omlette falls on the floor and they both look down at it with regret. “What time is it?” Xiao Zhan asks, looking up at YiBo who is happily munching on his,  _ his _ , sandwich, only now noticing that it is already dark outside.

“‘pfout mithnighf,” YiBo chews out. Xiao Zhan looks at him in confusion and the boy sighs, chews some more and finally swallows. “Midnight.” Well, looks like he really did sleep through the first day. “And you said you didn’t want it.”

“That’s not what I said!” Xiao Zhan protests. “I’m starving, YiBo, please, it smells so good, Bo-di,” he whines. “Haven’t you made it for your gege, don’t you want me to try?” 

Xiao Zhan doesn’t even need to try too hard to make puppy-eyes, right now even the rather suspiciously looking sandwich in YiBo’s hand is better than nothing, and he is almost ready to sell his soul to the Devil to get some food in his stomach.

YiBo squints at him and eyes him for another moment. He then puts the sandwich back on the plate and silently hands it to Xiao Zhan.

He is watching seriously as Xiao Zhan takes the first bite and a small smile tilts his lips when Xiao Zhan lets out a happy half-exhale half-moan.

“It’s fine, yeah?” YiBo asks unsure. “I don’t really cook usually,” he adds with a nonchalant shrug, but his eyes are watching Xiao Zhan carefully for a reaction.

Xiao Zhan takes another bite and spits out a little piece of an egg shell. YiBo’s eyelids give a little tremble at that and Xiao Zhan knows, if the boy was able to blush, he would now. 

“I might kiss you right now,” Xiao Zhan says and digs his teeth in the sandwich again. His stomach finally calms down and Xiao Zhan can practically feel how with every piece of food reaching it he is getting more and more benevolent. “But I don’t feel fresh enough to come even close to Lao who so graciously offered me the meal prepared by Lao Wang’s skillful hands,” he finishes and sends the last piece of his breakfast (dinner?) in his mouth.

YiBo’s face is doing something complicated. He gapes, then clears his throat, his adam apple bobbing, his eyes jerk to the side and then back at Xiao Zhan’s face, and this is when it finally catches up with Xiao Zhan why what he just said might have been not such a good idea to say now. A year ago? Sure. He still remembers how YiBo decided to read the porn scene from the  _ Mo Dao Zu Shi  _ out loud in his room, laughing like a goblin. 

Things have changed since then. It is still hard to say how exactly, but each joke like that seems more loaded now. 

He needs to say something. Ask the questions he’s been having on his mind since this summer. Not now, but during this few days they have away from any distraction.

He doesn’t know how to do it.

“You can kiss me after shower,” YiBo deadpans and while Xiao Zhan is trying to choose how to react, the boy smirks and wiggles his brows.

Xiao Zhan laughs lightly and shakes his head.

“The moment will be lost,” Xiao Zhan with a dramatic sigh. 

“I made you food, ge! I deserve a reward.”

“I can hug you now?”

YiBo makes a good act of thinking hard on the offer and then nods. “Fine, Zhan-ge, just don’t breathe in my direction, you slept for almost twelve hours.”

Xiao Zhan chuckles and walks to YiBo, hugging him.

“Weren’t you just ready to kiss me, YiBo?” Xiao Zhan teases.

“I changed my mind,” YiBo answers grumpily. “And stop wiping your greasy fingers of my shirt!”

Xiao Zhan laughs and pretends to do it again, and YiBo yelps, pushing him away and hitting his arm. Xiao Zhan covers his face and gets another hit, now with a pillow. He jumps to the side, dodging another pillow, and lowers his hands to YiBo’s half-grinning half-angry face.

“You should think twice, Zhan-ge, before ruining my clothes if you want me to share.”

Oh, right, he’s almost forgotten about his lost luggage… 

“I have some in my backpack,” Xiao Zhan says and sticks his tongue out. It will forever be a mystery for him how YiBo manages to reach to Xiao Zhan’s inner child so easily. “Where is it, by the way?” He asks after looking around the room and not finding neither the backpack nor his coat and shoes that he remembers leaving on the floor.

“I moved it to the room upstairs.”

“Are you kicking me out already?!”

YiBo spares him an unimpressed look. 

“Thought you’d want your own bed, there is a room with two, but if Xiao-laoshi wants to snuggle...” YiBo finishes the sentence with a wiggle of his brows and grins.

“Still can’t believe you booked the whole house, YiBo.” Xiao Zhan shakes his head with a smile.

“Cha―”

“Yes! Chalet! You are so annoying, YiBo!”

“I booked the whole damn chalet for us and made you food, you’re not allowed to say that I’m annoying, Zhan-ge!”

“What, never?!”

“Never.”

“What am I gonna do with you now?!”

A sly grin grows on YiBo’s face, he opens his mouth and Xiao Zhan waves a hand at him, laughing. “I don’t need to hear that, YiBo! I’m going to shower now! Leaving!” He walks to the door and glances back at the grinning boy over his shoulder. “Where?..”

“Second door on the right up the stairs, the bathroom’s adjoined.”

Xiao Zhan makes his way to the room that is apparently now theirs for the following few days. He finds his backpack near one of the beds and opens it over the bed, inspecting his belongings. Not that bad, but definitely not enough for several days, so he really will have to ask YiBo for some clothes and supplies. 

He soaks in a shower for what feels like an hour, wondering absentmindedly whether a shower gel with a smell of tropic fruits goes with the house, or YiBo brought it.

He dries his hair with a towel and puts on fresh clothes and then realises that he is still hungry. 

YiBo is not in the room, so Xiao Zhan walks downstairs and finds the boy sitting at the kitchen table reading something on his phone.

“It still smells like burnt eggs here, YiBo,” Xiao Zhan says once he walks in.

“Hey!” YiBo looks up. “Be grateful, Zhan-ge, I fed you, stop complaining.”

Xiao Zhan heads to the fridge past YiBo, ruffling his hair when he passes him.

“Thank you, Bo-di.” YiBo hisses like a cat, but he is smiling when Xiao Zhan glances over his shoulder before opening the fridge door. “Where did you get it by the way?”

“Woke up before you, got bored and went exploring. There are small shops in the town, restaurants.”

Xiao Zhan inspects the half empty carton of eggs in the fridge and the opened milk bottle.

“Why did you put bread in the fridge, YiBo?” he asks turning around. 

YiBo blinks, some sort of a distracted expression on his face gives way to a more focused one and he just shrugs.

Xiao Zhan sighs and sits in a chair beside him.

“Have you eaten, Bo-di?” he asks softly. YiBo smiles and tilts his chair back, balancing on the back pair of legs.

“Yep, got a pastry, there is a cool bakery, I can show you later.”

Xiao Zhan’s stomach gives out and interested rumble at the mention of baked goods, and he licks his lips.

“This is not enough, YiBo,” he says with a headshake.

YiBo drops forward on his chair and leans on the table, looking up at Xiao Zhan.

“No? You still hungry, Zhan-ge? I can make another omelette, do you want?”

Xiao Zhan gapes at him in disbelief. YiBo actually means it if the way he is looking at Xiao Zhan is any indication. Xiao Zhan tilts his head and smiles.

“I meant you, Bo-di,” he clarifies. “Why didn’t you cook anything for yourself?”

YiBo averts his gaze and shrugs. “I don’t cook for myself, I always buy some instant food when I’m home.”

Xiao Zhan watches him for another moment and then smiles, putting a hand over one of YiBo’s that are lying on the table.

“We are going to get grocery in the morning. Normal ones. I’ll make dinner. Normal one.”

“Hey, I tried so hard, that wasn’t even―” YiBo suddenly trails off. He swallows and licks his lips. 

Xiao Zhan is well aware of the smile pulling at his lips and the way he is looking at YiBo through the bangs, still damp from the shower. He can’t help it. So many times before he averted his eyes once YiBo began to smile at him, too bright, too piercing, too confusing. 

He thinks he understands it now, this need to look. Just look and smile.

YiBo’s hand where Xiao Zhan’s fingertips touch it almost burns him. He wraps his fingers around it and squeezes gently. 

“Thank you, YiBo,” he says softly, and YiBo swallows and nods.

“There are restaurants around, it’s a tourist place, Zhan-ge, you don’t have to cook,” he says.

“Wang-laoshi made me food, I’ll make food for Wang-laoshi,” Xiao Zhan answers, still smiling.

YiBo’s lips part, then he closes them for a moment as if thinking of something, and smiles too.

Xiao Zhan’s chest feels warm and his head feels light. 

It is a beautiful feeling. He has never thought it would actually be this way. So all consuming, so liberating at the same time. Just getting to feel that is already making him almost high. He is afraid to imagine what it would be like if― 

No, he can’t think about this now. 

YiBo is openly admiring him. Xiao Zhan thinks he will never get tired of how YiBo’s smile always takes him by surprise with its intensity. The way his face, so stoic and expressionless, changes with it, starting to almost shine, making it into that beautiful heart-shape with that pull of his lips. 

It is so different from the way he sometimes smiles politely to the cameras. 

It holds so much energy in it, so much light. Connect him to a generator now he would probably lit up the whole town. 

Xiao Zhan laughs breathlessly at the thought and gently strokes YiBo’s knuckles with his thumb. YiBo’s smile grows brighter. The smile, the way he is looking at Xiao Zhan is so full of warm affection Xiao Zhan’s mouth goes dry. It is so overwhelming to look at. He doesn’t want to look away. 

There is no way out for him now, isn’t it?.. 

“Why are you smiling, Zhan-ge?” YiBo asks quietly, almost whispers. 

The answer is on the tip of Xiao Zhan’s tongue, ready to fall from it, scaring him with the ease he knows he can just say it now, scaring him with how natural it feels, how natural it would be just to give it voice, like it has never been a question, like it has always been meant to be. And maybe it has, maybe it was defined for him the moment YiBo smiled to him for the first time in that boot camp, since then reserving this smile only for him. And that Xiao Zhan hadn’t noticed it for such a long time was only because he was too scared to. 

“I’m just happy, Bo-di,” he says instead. And it is also true. 

YiBo’s smile threatens to crack his face and blind Xiao Zhan. 

“I’m happy too, Zhan-ge,” he answers softly.

And it steals the air from Xiao Zhan’s lungs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make a mental exercise with me:  
think about everything in this chapter but from Yibo’s perspective. Him getting up earlier and fetching a blanket for his gege, going shopping and letting XZ sleep more, finding the best room for them, making food for XZ and then watching him eat it, will he approve or not, XZ taking his hand and offering to cook dinner for him...  
Do it! Keeping in mind that Yibo is madly in love ;)
> 
> ####  Some sources:
> 
> [ XZ dreaming of food ](https://twitter.com/bjyx__/status/1184098741642379274?s=21)   

> 
> [ Yibo’s cooking. Or trying to... ](https://twitter.com/lwjaes/status/1183003136744509440?s=21)  

> 
> [ XZ can cook well ](https://youtu.be/aqGfrkxC4M0?t=25)  



	5. Day 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features:  
\- Meat. Vegans ― read at your own discretion;  
\- Couple grocery shopping;  
\- OCs, that managed to make this chapter into almost a crack;  
\- Jelly protective Yibo (I didn’t plan that, it just happened);  
\- Irish hospitality;  
\- Some Irish slang you’ll probably misinterpret and BJYX will too, that’s the idea (will be more in one of the later chapters, I have a plan, you’ll like it, I promise).
> 
> Special thanks to **pommeideas** for the pasta, duck with honey and “Men eat meat!”.
> 
> Special thanks to **Kriomika** and her chinese speaking friend for double checking the chinese word for ‘duck’.
> 
> As always, I have tons of unanswered comments, I'll get to them.  
Hugs to all of you, you guys are the best.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

“By the way, YiBo, how did you talk your manager into giving you this week?” Xiao Zhan asks.

They are in a small supermarket in the town, currently standing in front of a meat and fish aisle trying to decide on their dinner. Or more precisely, Xiao Zhan is trying to decide as he is on the cooking duty, and YiBo is just ogling fresh meat in front of him hungrily like the glass is the only thing that is keeping him from surging forward and sinking his teeth in the flesh.

YiBo has been hungry since they came down from the mountain one hour ago after their first day of snowboarding, and he hasn’t hesitated to remind Xiao Zhan that he ought to feed him today. Xiao Zhan wouldn’t mind to get some food in his stomach either, as snowboarding unsurprisingly turned out to be a very energy consuming activity. 

In his case though it was less snowboarding and more snow-eating, and he would’ve given up after the second time he faceplanted, but YiBo made him stand up and try again each time. Xiao Zhan half expected the boy to be making fun of his clumsiness, but he was only smiling affectionately, helping Xiao Zhan get back up to his feet, and explaining patiently how to improve his posture on the snowboard.

“Oh, she gave me a whole lecture of how much exactly this week will cost me and the company. So I told her if she doesn’t let me have this one week off I will sneak out and disappear for a month instead,” YiBo answers and then points at the pile of ribs on the showcase. “Let’s take those.”

Xiao Zhan looks at him in disbelief, but YiBo doesn’t notice, eyes glued to the ribs behind the glass.

“You know, when you negotiate, you are supposed to offer something in return, not threaten to take more.”

YiBo turns to him and eyes him darkly. “I made you a sandwich!”

Xiao Zhan blinks in confusion and gapes at him. “Huh?”

“Xiao-laoshi offered to cook himself!”

“I didn’t mean…” Xiao Zhan takes in a long breath and lets it out with a sigh. “I was talking about your manager, YiBo. And maybe I can just cook pasta?” Xiao Zhan adds. “Will be faster…”

YiBo’s mouth makes a small “o” and then he smiles smugly.

“Yeah, she said that too.” He coughs and purses his lips. “No pasta! Men eat meat, Zhan-ge! For muscles.”

Xiao Zhan chuckles and before YiBo can react reaches to pinch the boy’s skinny side.

“Muscles, huh, Lao is so muscular I see, Lao probably eats only meat every day.”

YiBo jumps to the side, almost crashing into a trolley of a middle-aged woman who was walking past them, and then smacks Xiao Zhan’s shoulder.

“Hey!”

Xiao Zhan hides behind an arm from his abuser and smiles politely at the woman, bowing his head and apologising. She eyes them in amusement and walks away, and Xiao Zhan receives another smack from YiBo.

Xiao Zhan catches the boy’s wrist at the next swing and turns to the vendor behind the meat showcase who is watching them with a small smile. 

“Do you have duck?” Xiao Zhan asks him. The man nods and goes to retrieve a piece of duck meat from behind the glass.

Xiao Zhan dodges a hit from YiBo’s other hand and tries to get a hold of it too, after a brief fight only succeeding in capturing two fingers. 

“Duck?” YiBo repeats beside him in english, wiggling his fingers in Xiao Zhan’s grip in an attempt to set himself free, but Xiao Zhan holds tight.

“ _ Yāzi _ ,” Xiao Zhan translates and YiBo raises a skeptical brow.  “And you have a contract, YiBo, you wouldn’t be able to just disappear for a month without consequences,” he says. “Yes, please, that piece is enough,” he adds in English, turning to the vendor.

“You can cook a duck?! And I’m YiBo,” YiBo says like it alone explains everything, and it kind of does. Xiao Zhan has to let go of one of YiBo’s hands in order to accept the package with the duck from the vendor, but he keeps hold of YiBo’s two fingers. Just in case, he explains to himself. “If I disappear for a month without a trace and then resurface again they can make more money on that alone than they would if I worked that month as normal.” 

Xiao Zhan thinks he’s never seen such obvious  _ bitch, please  _ expression on this face before. He chuckles, puts the wrapped duck in their trolley and gives YiBo a very slow once-over.

YiBo raises his chin and looks at him suspiciously. “What?!”

“Just trying to understand where such huge ego hides in such a skinny body.”

YiBo yanks at his captured fingers and Xiao Zhan seizes his whole hand instead, pulling him away from the meat aisle.

“Don’t call me skinny.”

“You look like a noodle.”

“ _ You  _ look like a noodle! Have you seen yourself, you’ve lost even more weight, do you even eat?!”

Some customers turn around at YiBo’s scream, and Xiao Zhan chews on his lip, hiding a smile. 

They reach the shelves with the spices and he hesitates in front of them.

“I haven’t had many opportunities for regular meals recently, that’s true,” Xiao Zhan answers and he releases YiBo’s hand and picks up a couple of bottles with different spices, frowning at some unfamiliar english words and trying to ignore the feeling of loss in the tips of his fingers that still have a lingering warmth from where YiBo’s hand touched his skin. What is he, a teenager?! As if he’s never touched YiBo’s hand before… “What do you think about honey?” he asks, frowns at the spices, and then sighs and puts both in the trolley.

YiBo is silent, and Xiao Zhan looks up at him. The boy is eyeing him with what almost looks like a frown, but such expression doesn’t go far from his default resting face, so Xiao Zhan is not sure.

“You should take better care of yourself, Zhan-ge,” YiBo says. He chews on his cheek and his face softens. “Please, ge, take better care of yourself,” he adds quietly and Xiao Zhan can swear he hears worried notes in his voice.

YiBo is not smiling, but the effect is similar, and Xiao Zhan feels warmer from this worry. 

“If Bo-di asks me, I promise to try,” he says with a gentle smile, and YiBo nods and pushes the trolley past him.

“They probably will charge you for this week downtime from your future fees,” Xiao Zhan picks up the previous topic, following him. “And you didn’t answer about honey.”

“Like I care,” YiBo says, shrugging, surprising Xiao Zhan. “What you wanna do with honey?”

Xiao Zhan falls into step with him, looking around searching for an aisle with honey jars.

“The sauce for duck. And I thought you would, aren’t you in this for the money?”

“This vacation is more important,” YiBo says simply.

“I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be, I just invited you so you can make food for me.”

“I’m still flattered since Wang-laoshi prefers my cooking to the restaurants.”

YiBo turns to him with impressed expression on his face, lips parted.

“Smooth, Lao Xiao.”

“I learn from the best, Lao Wang.”

“What can I possible teach Xiao-laoshi, Xiao-laoshi is already the best.”

“Wang-laoshi is so humble, how can I be the best if Wang-laoshi is.”

“Oi, mates!” The cheerful shout interrupts their banter and they turn to see a grinning blond guy heading to them. He reaches them and taps their shoulders with such force, that Xiao Zhan has to take hold of their trolley handle in order not to sway. “How’ya?

“Hi, Allen,” Xiao Zhan answers in english and tilts his head toward the trolley. “Shopping for the dinner.”

YiBo nods and works his jaw, his eyes throwing daggers at the intruder, and Xiao Zhan kicks his shin lightly. YiBo raises his chin stubbornly and keeps looking at the guy, like he is trying to set him on fire with a sheer force of will.

They met Allen earlier this day. Xiao Zhan was making his slow and very careful way down the slope while YiBo was loudly cheering for him from the top of the track, when something slammed into him and the next moment he found himself with his ass in the snow and some european looking guy trying to untangle himself to stand up. He was apologising and laughing at the same time, even when YiBo, who’d made his way down to them, practically dragged him up by the collar, alternating between throwing worried glances at Xiao Zhan and intimidating ones at the guy.

It was amusing, and Xiao Zhan smiled, while checking himself for possible injuries.

“YiBo, let him go, I’m fine,” he said through the laughter, and YiBo hurried to his side to help him stand up.

Neither Xiao Zhan nor their new acquaintance ― Allen, as they learnt later ― got injured in the crash and Xiao Zhan holds no hard feelings. YiBo however seems to harbor a grudge toward him.

In fact, Xiao Zhan finds it quite hilarious, how many of YiBo’s triggers Allen has managed to set off during the little time they’ve known him.

Setting aside the initial accident, Allen is loud, talkative and he speaks with a weird sing-songy accent that makes it hard sometimes to understand what he is saying, especially considering the speed of his speech. The first thing he did when they exchanged introductions, was to repeat their names in a manner that made them completely unrecognisable to Xiao Zhan’s ears and then start clapping their shoulders and laughing joyfully.

“You’re from China, aye?! Arigato!” he shouted and YiBo pushed his hand away with an almost disgusted expression on his face.

“That’s Japanese!” he objected heatedly. “And it means  _ thank you _ .”  _ You moron _ was not said but was easily readable in the way YiBo was pursing his lips.

“Oh, really? Sorry, Jean, it’s the only word I know,” Allen said, rubbing the back of his head and smiling sheepishly.

Xiao Zhan could almost hear YiBo’s patience snapping, and he covered his mouth, holding back a laugh.

“I’m not Jean. I’m YiBo. And he is Xiao Zhan,” YiBo hissed through clenched teeth and Xiao Zhan snorted, earning an indignant look from YiBo.

Surprisingly, despite all the resentful energy YiBo has been sending Allen’s way, the guy decided to stick with them, because apparently he found them cool. He actually said that.

“Wow, you’re cool,” he said when YiBo did a smooth turn-around on the snowboard. YiBo’s angry face softened a bit at that, but then Allen added, “For a kid.”

“I’m twenty-two,” YiBo snarled and Allen raised his brows in surprise.

“Aye? Hm, must be the hat, makes your face round and cute, like a chiseler,” Allen said and laughed.

Neither of them knew what that meant but judging by YiBo’s face the boy surely assumed that it was an insult, and it took all of Xiao Zhan’s self control to keep a straight face at that and shake his head at him reassuringly. 

Frankly, YiBo really does look cute in his winter hat. Xiao Zhan is not stupid enough to tell him that though. He will save it for some other time, when YiBo decides to be a brat.

Allen bends down and looks into their trolley, poking the package with the duck meat.

“Me fella is cooking tonight,” he says. “I cooked yesterday so it’s his turn now, we switch,” he adds and then laughs madly, making a customer nearby, who has been peacefully browsing the choice of cookies, visibly flinch and drop a box on the floor with a muffled curse. 

Xiao Zhan chuckles. YiBo frowns deeper.

“You mates should come over, I owe you for today,” Allen says and nods several times, his eyes jumping between Xiao Zhan and YiBo.

“Zhan-ge is cooking for me,” YiBo says darkly.

“Allen, I heard your laugh from across the supermarket, what are you up to again?” A young man with short dark hair asks, rounding the corner.

“Hey, Mark, it’s the Yibo and Jean―”

“Zhan!”

“―I told you about!” Allen tells the newcomer. 

“Nice to meet you. Mark,” the man says with a small polite smile and extends his hand for hand shakes. 

Allen nudges him with his elbow, winks and tilts his head toward Xiao Zhan.

“Told you he’s a fine thing, aye?”

Mark rolls his eyes with a sigh and smiles apologetically. Xiao Zhan hears YiBo’s teeth screech and he slowly turns his head to him, raising his brows in question. He is surprised to find the boy standing a step closer to him than he expected. 

“I heard Allen crashed into you today, Zhan,” Mark says and YiBo grumbles under his breath,

“See, this one is saying your name correctly.” Xiao Zhan find YiBo’s hand, clenched into a fist, and rubs his knuckles against the back of it gently. YiBo lets out a long angry breath, but his hand relaxes slightly.

“Can we perhaps invite you two for dinner as an apology?” Mark finishes. He is smiling softly, corners of his eyes wrinkling a bit with it.

“I like this one more,” YiBo says in Chinese, but he is still frowning.

“Yibo said Jean’s cooking for him tonight, and he’s been gawking at me all day, what’ve I done?!” Allen pouts and turns to Mark, who just slaps the back of his head lightly.

“Probably said something stupid, what else.”

“I was just slagging!” 

Mark shakes his head and smiles. “Nevermind him, fellas. We are renting snowmobiles tomorrow, wanna join?” He asks.

YiBo perks up from his what Xiao Zhan can only call sulking and looks at Mark.

“Snowmobile?” he repeats. “It’s like a snow car or snow bike?”

“Like a bike, mate,” Allen declares cheerfully. He rounds the trolley and claps YiBo’s shoulder. “It’s deadly!” he adds enthusiastically and YiBo blinks, and turns to Xiao Zhan with a question in his eyes.

“He means it’s great,” Mark explains. “No one understands your ridiculous slang, Allen,” he tells Allen, turning to him.

“ _ You _ understand it! And it’s not ridiculous!”

“‘Cause I’ve known you donkey’s years!”

“Ha!” Allen shouts triumphically and pokes Mark in the chest.

Mark rolls his eyes and slaps Allen’s hand away.

“Christ,” he declares dramatically. “Your stupid language is rubbing off on me.”

“Oi, eff off! My language is not stupid! I’ll show you some rubbing off!” 

Allen tries to tickle Mark, but the other catches his hands and both start arguing, Allen’s speech getting even less comprehensive, but despite all the snarls and shoves they two throw at each other, Mark is smiling and Xiao Zhan figures it must be their usual way of communicating. It is weird and annoying, but Xiao Zhan can’t really find it in himself to judge.

He has no idea what is happening, but it sure does feel somehow familiar. He throws a glance at YiBo, expecting to find an annoyed closed expression on the boy’s face, but Yibo is nearly gaping at the brawl in front of them, eyes darting between the two men, and Xiao Zhan can practically see the wheels turning in his head, and he would’ve given much to know what YiBo is thinking of now.

They patiently wait for the two men to calm down and then discuss the time and place where they will meet tomorrow to go on a ride on the snowmobiles. It is not an activity Xiao Zhan would’ve chosen for himself, but YiBo is almost quivering in anticipation, and Xiao Zhan can’t really deny him that.

Xiao Zhan can’t really deny him anything, to be completely honest. He just needs to make sure YiBo is not aware of that.

They pick up a bottle of wine to go with the duck ( _ Make it two,  _ YiBo nudges him, but Xiao Zhan remembers too well what happened the last time they got drunk so he stands his ground), and some snacks for YiBo to munch on while Xiao Zhan is preparing their dinner. 

They wave goodbye to Mark and Allen and then have a brief fight over who is carrying the grocery bags, in the end just taking one each.

They head toward their chalet, YiBo holding his grocery bag pressed to his chest, from time to time bending his head to pick up the poofed rice chips that he opened earlier. 

The snow is squeaking under their feet and the chips are crunching on YiBo’s teeth. He is humming some tune Xiao Zhan can’t right away recognise through all the chewing the boy is doing.

Xiao Zhan changes the hand he is carrying the bag in and finds the keys from the house in the pocket of his jacket. 

He is already thinking of the recipe he chose for the dinner, going through the steps in his head, making sure they didn’t forget to buy anything.

“You cook the duck, I’ll make the salad, Zhan-ge,” YiBo says, pausing his humming and munching. “Will be faster if we cook together.”

Xiao Zhan nods and smiles. “Sure, Bo-di.”

He stops suddenly and YiBo takes another two steps and then turns to look at him. He is chewing on a chip, half of it sticking from his mouth.

“What, Zhan-ge?” he asks, and then furrows his brows, spitting the chip back in the bag. He takes half a step toward Xiao Zhan and freezes uncertain. “You are freaking out,” he says. “Why are you freaking out?..”

Xiao Zhan takes in a shaky breath, cold air filling his lungs. He waits until his heartbeat settles down and swallows, his mouth suddenly dry. 

YiBo is looking at him with a growing concern. He licks his lips in a nervous gesture and Xiao Zhan wants to tell him not to — it’s cold, the lips will get chapped, such beautiful lips... 

“It’s alright, Bo-di,” Xiao Zhan says, and lets out a short breathless laugh. He smiles and then smiles wider when he sees YiBo’s face softening, his posture relaxing. 

Xiao Zhan’s hand is damp with sweat around the keys in his pocket. 

He clasps his hand tighter. 

“Let’s go home,” he says. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me you got what I meant to convey here and scream with me. (I just love them so much don’t judge me, I’m trying my best!)
> 
> Allen sounds almost like Alan and I was cracking every time I was writing [this name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgvR3y5JCXg)  
xD
> 
> Irish English is not stupid but it sure is something:
> 
> _Howya_ = how are you  
_Chiseler_= young kid  
_Gawk_ = stare rudely  
_Me fella_ = my bf/hb  
_Fine thing_ = beautiful, good looking  
_Aye _= yes  
_Slag_ = make fun of someone in a friendly way  
_Deadly_ = fantastic  
_Donkey’s years_ = for a very long time  
_Eff off_ = fuck off


	6. Day 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, chapter 6 and still the 2nd day out of 7… Jesus, what have I gotten myself into…
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, folks! I wrote two oneshots in the meantime, take a look, if you haven’t seen them yet:
> 
>   * [after Nanjing concert hurt/comfort; ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21288623)
>   * [sort of a marriage proposal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21397846)
> 
> Some credits due:
> 
> To the _BB's Theme (from Death Stranding) by Ludvig Forssell and Jenny Plant_ for the cheesiest scene I have ever written and didn’t even know I would ever write smth so disgusting.  
To **pommeideas** for me finally realising I’ve never thought/mentioned how Yibo’s constant staring might feel like for XZ.  
For all injuries (just one, actually) sustained by Yibo in this chapter blame **pommeideas** and her violent ideas (see what I did here???) and **Kriomika** for being my fellow appreciator of Yibo’s perfect hands, and blame both of them for all the unresolved sexual tension in this chap (you might have to squint tho to see it xD).  
For Yibo being shameless and out of place suggestive blame **Kriomika** for not giving up on trying to convince me to raise the fic’s rating (which I won’t!), and Wang Yibo’s sinful lips that keep giving me ideas every time I see them. I’m sorry. A little bit.  
  
**Warnings:**  
\- for the mention of blood (nothing serious, just a small cut)  
\- for feels that will hit you hard once you reach the end of the chapter xD
> 
> On that note, please enjoy! xD  


Vacation-YiBo is different from the YiBo Xiao Zhan is used to see on the set or on the stages of the various shows. Even behind the stages, though slightly less collected, YiBo is still in his idol-mode, all polished, wrapped in expensive luxury clothes and shiny accessories, that make him look a bit out of this world, hair styled and a little touch of the make-up on his face. He is flawless like that, stunning and almost ethereal, and Xiao Zhan likes stealing glances at him, admiring the beautiful image the boy makes.

There is almost nothing of this in the way YiBo moves around the house now, grocery bag in the crook of one arm, teeth tugging at the sleeve of his jacket; he throws it across one of the chairs in the kitchen once he manages to take it off ― he has to move the bag to the other hand in order to take off the second sleeve, for some reason deciding against setting the bag on the table or the kitchen counter. 

He coughs when he finally puts the bag down, and huffs when he tugs his hat off, throwing it on the pile his jacket has made on the chair. The hat slides down to the floor, and YiBo blinks at it with almost disappointment, and bends down to pick it up. His hair is messy and he runs his fingers through it. It doesn’t help much, a couple of strands are sticking in wrong directions, but he seems either not to notice or not to care. 

He pulls the sleeves of his oversized hoodie up to his elbows and begins unloading the groceries. The opened bag of chips is the first and he sets it to the side, taking one chip after each new item he pulls out of the shopping bag. He hesitates a bit when he gets to the vegetables, hums to himself and puts them in the sink. 

He puts one more chip in his mouth after he is done, licks his fingers clean and folds the empty paper bag.

“How long that duck will be cooking? Maybe we can open the wine now, I― Zhan-ge?..”

Vacation-YiBo is different from any other YiBo Xiao Zhan is used to and maybe that’s why he feels glued to the floor in the kitchen doorway, watching this different side of the boy he knows.

Or perhaps it is because in the simple comfortable clothes, with his hair a mess, with his cheeks slightly pink from the cold they just returned from YiBo looks so much warmer and even more beautiful than when his look is the product of professionals working on it. 

Maybe the view of him unpacking the groceries they just bought for their dinner strikes a bit too close to home. 

Or maybe it is just the way the stray strand of hair falls on his eye and he has to blink a bit more often than usual, and the way he parts his lips slightly as he always does when he is confused. And Xiao Zhan just can’t do anything with himself when he sets his bag on the floor and walks to YiBo and grabs him in a tight hug.

The boy makes a little noise of surprise and then Xiao Zhan feels YiBo’s arms around his waist, fingers clutching the fabric of his coat on his back.

“Your coat is cold, Zhan-ge, next time take if off before hugging me,” YiBo says with a smile in his voice. He pats Xiao Zhan’s back and makes a move to step back, but Xiao Zhan only squeezes tighter. “Ow, Zhan-ge, so much strength in those noodle arms!”

Xiao Zhan pinches his side and YiBo flinches and squeals. 

“Stand still, Bo-di.”

“You are cold and pinching me, how can I stand still?!”

Xiao Zhan closes his eyes and just presses closer. YiBo’s ear is cold against the skin of his jaw but he is warm under Xiao Zhan’s hands even through the layers of his hoodie and a t-shirt underneath.

“Just a little longer, just shut up, YiBo, give me a moment here.”

He expects YiBo to argue, or to start teasing him, but he actually stills, even sags against Xiao Zhan a little, relaxing.

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know how long they stand like that, must be just a few moments, when YiBo asks quietly,

“What are you thinking of, Zhan-ge?”

Xiao Zhan opens his eyes and draws back but doesn’t move too far.

“Nothing,” he says with a smile. And leans in, briefly pressing his forehead to YiBo’s, catching the surprised look in his eyes, before stepping back.

YiBo blinks, his lips curling in a bright smile that makes his eyes shine.

“Zhan-ge,” YiBo says and tilts his head, looking extremely pleased. Xiao Zhan just laughs lightly and walks back to the clothing rack in the hall.

“You sure I can trust you with the vegetables, YiBo?” he asks, discarding his coat and scarf. “I saw the video from some show where you butchered a cucumber.”

YiBo huffs in the kitchen and Xiao Zhan hears him turn on the water in the sink.

“They didn’t pay me enough to even try, Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan returns to the kitchen and begins unpacking his grocery bag while YiBo is washing vegetables. 

“Is Wang-laoshi going to charge me for his assistance in preparing this dinner?” he asks playfully and hears YiBo’s croaking laughter.

“I was about to do this free of charge, but now when you mentioned this, I probably should think of something.”

Xiao Zhan crumples up the empty paper bag and throws it at YiBo.

~

Xiao Zhan is mixing the ingredients for the sauce, YiBo is chopping vegetables while throwing glances at Xiao Zhan. Xiao Zhan of course notices, like every time YiBo does it, which pretty much always when they are in the vicinity of each other. 

The glances are long, the knife is sharp and YiBo’s cooking skills are still somewhere in between of completely lacking and the half-burned egg sandwich with the pieces of egg shells inside, and it definitely isn’t safe, and Xiao Zhan should probably say something.

But the problem is, that by now he has gotten too used to feeling YiBo’s intense stare on him. The times when it felt somewhat weird has long passed, and after the first couple of times of getting a nonchalant  _ Zhan-ge is so handsome, I can’t look away  _ and the set of deceptively innocent eyes when he asked YiBo why he kept looking at him, Xiao Zhan has just accepted this as something he has no control over, and since then it even feels more strange on the rare occasions when YiBo is  _ not _ looking at him.

It is to the point, that no one is instructing them anymore before their  _ Wuji _ performance to look at each other as much as possible while they sing. He imagines YiBo still would even if they were told otherwise.

So he doesn’t really pay it much mind now either and only smiles without looking up when YiBo comments something about his cooking skills in his usual teasing manner, and only when the boy suddenly hisses and drops the knife, Xiao Zhan turns to him in alarm.

YiBo is holding his left hand in front of his face, frowning at the index finger.

“Cut it,” he says. “I think it’s fine, I can barely see it,” he adds and then the wound opens and YiBo’s finger gets instantly covered in blood. 

Xiao Zhan imagines the concern on YiBo’s face the next moment is much less about his own injury and more about the panic that is most likely written all over Xiao Zhan’s face, when he rushes to YiBo’s side, grabs his hand, opens the cold water in the sink and shoves the injured finger under the stream, only to see the water turn red, and blood not showing any signs of stopping.

“Zhan-ge…”

Xiao Zhan picks up the roll of paper towels from the counter and shoves it to YiBo.

“Press it to the cut, there should be some medical supplies in one of the bathrooms, I’ll be right back, just…”

“Zhan-ge.”

Seeing that YiBo is not doing anything, Xiao Zhan takes the paper towels back, tears off several and presses them to the wound. YiBo hisses and Xiao Zhan nearly drops the towels.

“God, I’m so sorry, Bo-di, just need to stop the blood.”

“Zhan-ge, it’s just a small cut.”

“Can you hold it, please, I’ll go search for some bandages…”

“It’s just a finger, Zhan-ge, calm down.”

“Just sit here and I―”

“Xiao Zhan!” 

Xiao Zhan flinches and looks at YiBo who smiles and taps his shoulder with the other hand.

“You are like a mother-hen, Zhan-ge, it’s just a small cut, it doesn’t even hurt much, breathe,” he says, tilting his head and looking at Xiao Zhan with a mix of amusement, wonder and affection. 

It is a strange mix, Xiao Zhan thinks, considering YiBo just got himself a nasty cut that most likely stings like hell, but this look sooths Xiao Zhan’s panic enough for him to actually give a little smile in return and leave the kitchen in his search for the medical supplies.

He finds the box with the first-help supplies in the bathroom downstairs and hurries back. 

He enters the kitchen and sees YiBo sitting on the side of the kitchen counter with a blank look, swinging his legs and sucking on the injured finger like it is a lollipop.

“YiBo, what are you doing? You can’t put it in your mouth!”

YiBo raises his brows, hollows his cheeks and pulls the finger out with an audible pop.

“It was bleeding,” he says simply, inspects the finger and turns it to show the cut to Xiao Zhan. “Look, not bleeding anymore.”

Xiao Zhan looks. He holds his gaze at the finger in question, very purposefully avoiding to look at YiBo’s face. Because YiBo’s face has a set of very beautiful lips that Xiao Zhan had admired long before he got any other ideas about them rather than just admiring, and the said lips just performed a demonstration that Xiao Zhan’s brain finds very interesting, and right now is not the time for such  _ ideas _ .

“Your mouth is full of germs, YiBo, I told you to keep the pressure,” he says, putting the first-aid kit on the counter near YiBo and takes the antiseptic liquid and a roll of bandage from it.

“My mouth is fine! And the towels were not helping.” YiBo leans down, looking at the supplies Xiao Zhan has brought. “Does it have band-aids with pics? I want the one with a motorcycle.”

Xiao Zhan shoves his curious hand away and moves to the sink to wash his hands. “They don’t do band-aids with motorcycles pics, YiBo.” He turns off the water and dries his hands with a paper towel. “And everyone’s mouth is full of germs,” he adds, looking up at YiBo. “Just don’t do it anymore, okay, Bo-di?”

YiBo is watching him with playful curiosity in his eyes. His position on the counter makes him appear taller than Xiao Zhan, even slightly taller than he was during  _ The Untamed _ filming where he was wearing the boots with platforms. 

“Xiao-laoshi is so smart, have learnt so much from that doctor’s role!” YiBo says with fake seriousness, the corners of his lips quivering.

Xiao Zhan sighs, and shakes his head, taking YiBo’s injured hand.

“That’s just google, YiBo,” He says, applying the antiseptic to the cut. YiBo doesn’t make a sound, but Xiao Zhan feels his hand tensing, and he winces in sympathy, trying not to be distracted by how suddenly affected he is by YiBo experiencing even the slightest bit of pain. “But I picked up some things from that role, yes.”

He carefully dries the injured finger with the sterile wipes and a tiny quiver runs through YiBo’s hand. There is a sudden stinging in Xiao Zhan’s eyes, and he shakes his head, scolding himself for being too softhearted. It is just a small cut after all. He has seen nastier scratches and bruises on YiBo’s knees before ― the boy has close to no regard to his health, never paying much mind to small injuries he often gets when he dances.

Xiao Zhan swallows his unshed ridiculous tears and starts wrapping YiBo’s finger with a bandage.

“Anyway, YiBo, just remember, you can’t lick your wounds better, you’re not a dog. How have you lived your life till now not knowing that?” Xiao Zhan asks, shaking his head and fixing the bandage with a tiny knot. 

YiBo is silent for a moment before he lifts his hand to his eyes and inspects the bandage.

“Maybe my whole life I’ve just been waiting for you…” he says nonchalantly and Xiao Zhan looks up at him. YiBo puts his hand down, measures him with an intense glare and the corners of his mouth flinch. “...to tell me that,” he finishes with a smug smile and Xiao Zhan shoves his shoulder.

“I’m injured, you are not allowed to hit me!” YiBo laughs and hops off the counter. “Where is that wine bottle now?”

“You are going to drink now? What about the dinner?”

YiBo picks up the bottle and starts rummaging the drawers apparently searching for the opener. 

“I can’t cook now, so it’s on you,” he says, fishing out the bottle opener from one of the drawers and lifts it into the air with a victorious smile. 

“So much help you are,” Xiao Zhan sighs with a pretence disappointment and YiBo sticks out his tongue. 

~

On his own cooking takes slightly longer, YiBo not helping the matter by constantly distracting him by reading some ridiculous jokes he finds on Weibo, or even worse, shoving his phone under Xiao Zhan’s nose to show some silly picture, and Xiao Zhan has to pause to laugh it through and YiBo looks double amount of happy, from both the jokes and that he made Xiao Zhan smile.

The boy sits at the table only the first few minutes and his first glass of wine, getting jumpier and more impatient after, and then he is constantly appearing either on Xiao Zhan’s left or right, crunching on his chips, from time to time poking Xiao Zhan’s lips with a chip ―  _ I should’ve bought more, aren’t they good, Zhan-ge? ―  _ and after the second glass of wine starting to share it too, shoving the glass under Xiao Zhan’s nose ―  _ Not fair if I’m the only one tipsy when dinner's done, ge. _

It is chaotic, but wonderful at the same time, and Xiao Zhan’s cheeks hurt from all the smiling by the time dinner is ready and on the table. YiBo’s eyes are already glassy, the bottle of wine is down to barely a quarter of it left, taken on a basically empty stomach affecting the boy much faster.

They eat, and talk, and laugh, finishing the bottle, then, slightly tipsy and warm with the food filling their bellies make a search of the house, finding a whole shelf of wine bottles in the basement and discovering that the fireplace in the living room is actually a real functioning one. 

They almost finish their second bottle of wine by the time the fire in the fireplace can finally burn on its own without them feeding it small dry wood chips. YiBo slaps his pockets for his phone, doesn’t find it and demands Xiao Zhan to give him his. He throws it back to Xiao Zhan in a moment, saying, “Turn shuffle,” and refills his glass with more wine.

The music app is opened on Xiao Zhan’s phone and he obediently clicks the shuffle option, sitting down on the couch, and the next hour is a chaos of music from completely different genres that YiBo tries to dance to, before Xiao Zhan gets either bored with the track or finds it to be not challenging enough for YiBo, and clicks “next”. 

Thankfully the boy hasn’t been drinking that much to repeat his drunken “performance” from a few months ago, and it is fascinating to watch him switch between different dancing styles.

Xiao Zhan taps “next” again when YiBo takes a break to take his glass from the coffee table. This time it is something slow, and YiBo takes a sip of wine and looks up.

He makes two half-moves with his feet, as if testing and then steps away from the table and begins to dance.

_ I'll stay with you _

_ By your side _

He closes his eyes, small smile playing on his lips, the free hand moves gracefully to the music, feet stepping softly on the thick carpet, and the wine in the glass he is still holding is barely disturbed by the smooth moves. 

The warm light coming from the fireplace is falling softly on one side of his face, casting ever moving shadows.

_ I'll wait and soon _

_ I'll see your smile in a dream _

YiBo parts his lips and starts humming, low and deep, and Xiao Zhan suddenly wishes the boy knew the lyrics to sing along in his deep voice, that would most likely be slightly hoarse now after all the wine he’s drunk.

It is so different from the dances he usually performs and it might be just a slight inebriation that made him want to dance to this song, but Xiao Zhan is certainly not going to complain. Not when he gets to see this side of YiBo, that is somehow both that confident flawless idol loved by millions and the soft slightly awkward boy who loves his skateboard and can talk endless hours about his motorcycle. 

Who can’t look people in the eye and shies away from being touched by strangers. 

Who glues himself to Xiao Zhan’s side every time they get a chance to meet and looks at him like the whole world doesn’t exist around them. With stars shining in his eyes...

_ I'll stay with you _

_ In your mind _

_ Every single day _

YiBo opens his eyes slightly and looks through the eye-lashes at Xiao Zhan, still moving ― flowing ― to the music.

He is ethereal. Nevermind the baggy pants and the oversized t-shirt, nevermind the messy hair. 

He is so beautiful, Xiao Zhan can’t tear his eyes off him.

He is so dear, Xiao Zhan can’t breathe.

_ I'll try to stay with you _

_ I won't stray away from the truth _

The song ends and YiBo stops, eyes locked on Xiao Zhan, watching him intensely, heatedly, and at the same time somewhat unfocused like he is both looking at Xiao Zhan and at something he just saw behind his closed eyes.

Xiao Zhan blindly reaches for his phone and taps on the screen hoping he hit the pause button. YiBo licks his lips and swallows, adam apple bobbing. And then he blinks and more focus returns to his eyes with his gaze losing some intensity. He averts his eyes, blinks at the glass in his hand, and Xiao Zhan feels that he can breathe again.

YiBo downs the wine and runs his fingers through his hair. He looks around and steps to the coffee table, setting the empty glass on it. It is both a miracle and the talent that he didn’t bump into it when he was dancing with his eyes closed.

“So sleepy, Zhan-ge,” he rasps, closing his eyes for a moment. He sways but catches his footing before Xiao Zhan can even react, turns around, walks to where Xiao Zhan is watching him from the couch, and suddenly sags, dropping down to his knees, hugging Xiao Zhan’s leg and pressing his forehead to his knee. “Zhan-ge,” he whispers hoarsely, and stills, his warm breaths reaching Xiao Zhan’s skin through the thin fabric of his pants.

It is almost natural to reach out to lightly run his fingers through YiBo’s hair. The boy makes a low sound and Xiao Zhan laughs breathlessly ― if YiBo was a cat he surely would be purring right now.

“Bo-di,” Xiao Zhan says softly and smiles when YiBo lets out a quiet  _ Mm.  _ “It’s late, we should go sleep.” YiBo lifts his head, letting go of Xiao Zhan’s leg, and folds his arms on his lap instead, propping his chin on top and looking up at Xiao Zhan somewhat dreamily. “There you are.” 

“Hey,” YiBo whispers, lips curling in a small smile.

“Hey.” Xiao Zhan slowly strokes YiBo’s cheek with his knuckles and the boy leans to the touch glancing at Xiao Zhan with wonder in his eyes.

“Hey, Zhan-ge,” YiBo repeats almost inaudibly and closes his eyes, smile still playing on his lips.

His cheek is hot under Xiao Zhan’s fingers and the pleasant warmth radiates from where he is leaning on Xiao Zhan’s knees. The fire is slowly dying down in the fireplace, and there are no other sounds but the quiet crackle of burning wood, YiBo’s soft breaths and the deafening noise of Xiao Zhan’s frantic heartbeat in his ears.

YiBo turns his head, lying his cheek down on his folded arms. Xiao Zhan brushes a few strands from his face and combs his hair with his fingers. 

His heart is warm, and full, and aching in his chest when he leans down, his other hand around YiBo’s arm, in something like a half-hug, half-caress. He softly presses his lips to YiBo’s temple, feeling his pulse spike in the little vein under his lips, when YiBo inhales sharply, but otherwise doesn’t move. 

They are frozen in this moment for a few breaths, Xiao Zhan closing his eyes, YiBo’s skin hot against his lips, his familiar scent mixed with a faint one of wine is soothing in his lungs.

Xiao Zhan pulls back just slightly, whispering, “We should go sleep, Bo-di,” and leaving another short kiss in YiBo’s hairline before sitting fully back.

YiBo’s eyes are opened and fixed on him, slightly drunk, but bright and intense with something unfamiliar and unreadable in their depths. He smiles, somewhat lost, but warm, and slowly stands up, offering his hand to Xiao Zhan.

YiBo pulls him on his feet and they head upstairs, both swaying a little, not really that drunk but definitely tired and sleepy.

YiBo makes a beeline to his bed once they are in the room and Xiao Zhan switches off the main lights in the bedroom when YiBo turns on a small night lamp that is standing on the floor beside his bed. It was originally on the nightstand, but YiBo put it down last night so the light was less disturbing for Xiao Zhan. Xiao Zhan didn’t really mind either way, he could sleep in pretty much any conditions, really, but the boy insisted, and frankly it was somewhat nice seeing him care about the quality of Xiao Zhan’s sleep.

YiBo took off his hoodie after his first impromptu dance so now he just crawls under his blanket, yawning. 

“Zhan-ge,” he whispers and closes his eyes. Xiao Zhan knows it is one of those  _ Zhan-ge _ ’s that don’t require an answer, just something YiBo likes to hear himself say for his own comfort.

Xiao Zhan changes into his sleeping clothes, thinking it would’ve felt better if he took a shower first, but he is too sleepy and too unwilling to walk too far from YiBo, so he brushes this thought away and lies down on his side, looking at YiBo moving his lips silently in another  _ Zhan-ge _ .

Xiao Zhan waits until his breath changes, watches a small quiver run through his body when the boy falls asleep. His lips are parted a bit and he looks soft and peaceful in the dim warm light. 

He is so close, just at an arm’s reach, but still too far, and Xiao Zhan has heard about this, has read this in the novels, and never believed that it could actually be this way; he is so full of happiness, of some almost childish joy, and exhilaration, and overwhelming all consuming affection, that it  _ hurts _ . He wants to take deep breaths but his chest aches in some phantom pain, heart hammering against his ribs; the wide smile tugging at his lips is nowhere even near enough to let some of that bliss he feels out of his system to allow him breathe easier. 

Some time ago, answering a fan’s question of whether he would admit his feelings, he said, that that would be too much of a risk, that he wouldn’t do it. And he believed in what he said back then. But he had no idea how hard it would be to actually keep it to himself.

It is maddening. It is maddening how  _ much  _ it is, it is maddening how good it is, how much it hurts, how it makes him want to smile, and laugh, and cry all at once.

It is beautiful. It is warm, and delightful and everything at once, and makes him want to scream, and touch, and watch, just keep looking.

And smile. And see the smile in return.

History holds the stories of wars being waged because of this feeling alone.

People risking their lives for it.

Turning their backs to their believes, their reputation.

It is scary how much force it holds. It is scary how it is always worth it. It is scary how bad he wants to believe that.

...How bad he wants to say that.

He watches YiBo’s sleeping face and opens his mouth, blood, full of adrenalin, is throbbing in his temples.

He only risks to mouth it, not even a whisper, just his lips barely moving with no sound coming out, forming three little words. 

Tears spill from his eyes, wide smile making his cheeks almost hurt, and he can’t breathe from all the feelings and emotions that surge through him.

He turns to his back and covers his mouth with his hand to prevent any sound from coming out. His cheeks are damp but he is smiling.

He calms down a bit after some time. He wipes away the tears with a corner of the blanket and closes his eyes.

He is listening to YiBo’s quiet steady breaths when he finally falls asleep.

_ I love you... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Yibo dances to: _BB’s theme_ because I have been sucked in the ugly and beautiful world of _Death Stranding_. I can’t promise but I will do my best to make _Blackpink - Stay_ and _Nánhái_ to make an occurrence in this fic too.  
Their happy faces on the 11/11 show hit me hard. I am beginning to actually believe they are together. Funny, how things change.  
For me it’s been like:  
watching CQL: _They have nice dynamics but it doesn’t mean anything_  
some CQL BTS: _Yibo seems to have a thing for XZ but it doesn’t mean he is gay_  
various vids from shows and interviews with Yibo: _Yibo is definitely gay but still doesn’t really mean anything_  
more BTS and interviews: _Yibo is totally in love but XZ is clearly not interested. Will probably never happen_  
Thai meet: _XZ seems to be getting more interested. Still, doesn’t mean anything_  
CQL concert and 11/11 show and [Yibo giving XZ a heart sign](https://twitter.com/MayXian3/status/1194635516408262656?s=19): _OK THEY ARE TOTALLY DATING_
> 
> Just so you know I found myself incapable of watching any actual videos with them from the last two events ― they are too powerful, I’m scared xD So I’ve only seen pics and gifs xD  
Also, thank you all so much for all the comments. I sometimes don’t find what to say so some comments are left unanswered, but just know that I read them all and your nice words give me lots of warm feels. Thank you!


	7. Day 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I changed Wang YiBo to simply Yibo in the whole Part 3, you are not imagining things. No, I don’t know why I was even writing Yi**B**o in the first place, go away with your questions.  
I was listening to 男孩 (“That boy”) while writing this, and this song will _finally_ make an appearance in this fic bigger than Yibo just drunkenly humming it under his nose like in Part 2.  
So here are the links for you to check _before_ you start reading this chapter (and I hope none of you has been living under a rock and everyone is aware why this song is no.1 song in this fandom):
> 
>   * [男孩 (live) on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/0cpnJDBSOGlq5pIRuPIpLw?si=Wr1IZZ4CRSGjrFqdXGDJhA)
>   * [男孩 on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/calvin-cheng-627383537/r6rcbhbwmjxm?in=kamuiril/sets/relaxing) (if you don’t have Spotify, but it sounds less impressive here I think)
>   * [Yibo singing 男孩](https://youtu.be/ZLhXzaq-O0w?t)
> 
> This chapter features:  
\- XZ wearing Yibo’s clothes;  
\- Jelly XZ;  
\- Singing Yibo;  
\- Mark and Allen making (sexual) innuendos and asking uncomfortable questions (mostly Allen tho);  
\- Karaoke (no, I’m not sorry);  
\- Some mushiness that I am not sorry for.

Xiao Zhan opens his eyes in the morning to the disheveled Yibo who is rising up from his bed, yawning and blinking, looking sleepily around him. He brushes his hair back, pouts when it falls down on his face again and walks to the wardrobe, fishing out a hoodie from it and putting it on.

Xiao Zhan sits up in his bed, watches him looking critically at the two pairs of jeans in his hands ― why did he even bring so much clothes for just one week? ― and stands up.

“What are you doing, Yibo?”

Yibo flinches and drops one pair of jeans, and turns to him, instantly hitting him with the other one.

“Scared me, Zhan-ge!” Xiao Zhan pulls the jeans from Yibo’s fingers, hiding them behind his back. Yibo makes a move to reach for them, but Xiao Zhan takes a step back and Yibo stops, folding his arms and pouting again. “We are meeting with Allen and that other one―”

“Mark.”

“―at eleven, I’m dressing up, you should too, give me my jeans back.”

“I don’t have more clean shirts left, I can’t really dress up now anyway―”

“I will give you mine, do you want this one?”

“―and you can’t either, because we skipped the shower yesterday―”

“And take this hoodie, Zhan-ge, it’s my favorite―”

“―Yibo, are you listening?”

“―you can have it, it’s comfy. No need to return, keep it. If you want.”

Yibo is handing him one of his t-shirts and the hoodie that Xiao Zhan has seen him in on several occasions, and looking at him a bit lost, but hopeful, face arranged in a semi-tense state, as if he is waiting for Xiao Zhan’s reaction to decide what expression he will wear on it now, and Xiao Zhan just sighs, shaking his head briefly, and takes the offered clothes with a smile.

“Thank you, Bo-di,” he says, and Yibo’s faces relaxes in a soft smile. “Still, if it’s your favorite, I’ll make sure to return it…” Yibo’s smile falls, he puckers his lips, nodding briefly, and Xiao Zhan adds, “Or not.” Yibo grins and it amazes Xiao Zhan once again how expressive the boy is when he is not hiding himself behind the indifferent mask. “But shower first!” Xiao Zhan reminds him when Yibo picks up the jeans he dropped on the floor and reaches to the waistband of his sweatpants. 

Yibo stops and looks up. He is frowning, displeased, but then his face lights up and he grins.

“Zhan-ge is so caring, Zhan-ge is taking such good care of me!” He declares.

“If you think flattering me will keep you from going to shower, you’re mistaken, Yibo,” Xiao Zhan says, attempting to sound strict. 

“But I have a bandage! I can’t take a shower!” Yibo whines, lifting his injured finger in the air like a banner, and purses his lips in a pout.

“Just don’t wet it.”

Yibo drops his hand and says in his normal voice, “How the hell am I supposed to do that, Zhan-ge?!”

Xiao Zhan watches him for a moment and then sighs, hands Yibo his jeans, and goes to retrieve his own pants.

“Alright, just take it off then and I’ll help you make a new one. I’m going to the bathroom across.” He throws the clothes over his shoulder, turns to Yibo and points at him. “Behave.”

Yibo straightens up and arranges his face in that fake innocent expression he usually puts on when he is teasing Xiao Zhan.

“Zhan-ge is so caring!” He says again loudly. “Zhan-ge is—“

“Wang Yibo, you go into that shower now or Zhan-ge will stop being that caring and will be very angry.”

Yibo makes a surprised “o” with his lips, stands up and walks to the bathroom throwing one last smirk in Xiao Zhan’s direction before closing the door.

Xiao Zhan is the first to finish with his shower and he returns to the bedroom, when the sound of the water running in the adjoined bathroom cuts off. He puts on Yibo’s hoodie, the faint detergent smell is familiar and not at the same time. Already slightly oversized, as Yibo prefers most of his clothes, the hoodie is too wide for Xiao Zhan in shoulder, and he lifts up the hood, closing his eyes and nosing briefly at the soft fabric of it. He smiles to the warm and comforting feeling of being wrapped up in the scent that is  _ almost _ Yibo, then calls himself a lovesick fool, opens his eyes, and takes off the hood.

He hears some muffled rustling coming from the bathroom and then,

“Zhan-geee, Zhan-geee, my bandage,” Yibo whines, and Xiao Zhan is pretty sure the boy is not so much in need of an actual help but more just enjoying being bratty. Nothing new here, really. 

He heads to the bathroom, and Yibo let’s out a happy  _ Zhan-ge!  _ when he sees him, and Xiao Zhan can’t help but smile, not able to be annoyed for too long by the boy demanding his attention. He is all too happy to give it anyway.

Yibo is watching him closely when Xiao Zhan wraps his finger in a fresh bandage, seemingly not even blinking. Xiao Zhan looks up at him when he is finished, Yibo’s hand is still in his, and Yibo curls his lips into a smile.

“Gege is so caring.”

“Have to take care of my didi, if didi is so clumsy.”

“I’m not clumsy! I was distracted by gege’s handsome face!”

“Thought you’d get used to it by now.”

“How can I get used to such beauty?!”

“Having such face as Wang-laoshi’s, I thought you’d be immune to such thing as beauty.”

“Xiao-laoshi’s beauty is one of a kind!”

Xiao Zhan laughs, briefly squeezing Yibo’s fingers, minding the injured one, before letting go. 

“We really need to get going.”

Yibo nods, claps Xiao Zhan’s shoulder and walks out of the bathroom.

“My hoodie looks good on you, ge,” Xiao Zhan hears him say and he looks up in the bathroom mirror and sees himself smiling.

**~**

Xiao Zhan is eyeing the snowmobiles skeptically while trying not to look at Yibo’s blissful expression when the boy sits on one of the them, grabs the handles and throws back his head squinting in delight.

“Almost,” he says.

Allen hops on on another snowmobile, says, “Wroom, wroom,” and laughs. Yibo turns to him very slowly, stares without blinking and then looks up at Xiao Zhan as if saying  _ Can you believe this idiot. _

Xiao Zhan decides not to remind him that last year Yibo himself was doing very believable motorbike sounds.

“Almost like what?” Mark, who has been smoking at a side, walks to them, clicks his tongue at the row of the snowmobiles and sits on one of them, turning the engine on.

“Like a real bike,” Yibo answers.

“This bike is plenty real too, mate, it’s just a  _ snow _ bike!” Allen laughs, reaching to slap Yibo’s shoulder. Yibo winces, starts his snowmobile and turns to Xiao Zhan.

“Zhan-ge, did you chose?” he asks him in Chinese.

Xiao Zhan lifts his eyes on him, shaking his head.

“Do I have to drive it? I’m not sure…”

“It is not like a bike, Zhan-ge, you won’t fall from it…” Yibo chews his lower lip and then claps at the seat behind him and smiles. “You can ride this one with me, I’ll protect you, Zhan-ge!”

He doesn’t specify what exactly he plans to protect Xiao Zhan from and Xiao Zhan decides not to ask, figuring it really might be less effortless and way more enjoyable to just let Yibo control the snowmobile. He nods and climbs behind Yibo, putting his hands on the boy’s waist.

“Hey, Mark, do you wanna ride mine too?!” Allen screams, driving past them, and bursts into a loud laughter. 

“We can talk about it after you ride mine,” Mark passes him on his snowmobile, flipping him off.

Allen laughs even louder and accelerates his snowmobile, throwing over his shoulder, “Don’t lag behind, mates!”

Yibo coughs, drawing Xiao Zhan’s attention back to him. His ears are red, and Xiao Zhan reaches up to pull the boy’s hat lower. Yibo coughs again, claps one of Xiao Zhan’s thighs, saying, “Hold with your thighs, Zhan-ge, keep your upper body relaxed,” and starts driving.

**~**

Xiao Zhan loosens his death grip on Yibo’s sides only after about half an hour ride, not so much as scared of riding a snowmobile, but more taken by surprise by this new experience. He tries to follow Yibo’s advice to hold onto the machine ―  _ and _ onto Yibo ― with his legs, after Yibo explains him that this is how you are usually supposed to ride a motorbike, and finds it more comfortable than clinging to Yibo with his hands.

Aside from comfortable it is also extremely distracting, because Yibo’s thighs are warm against the inner sides of Xiao Zhan’s ones even through the layers of their pants, and he can feel the contraction of the boy’s muscles when he makes tiny moves on the snowmobile while maneuvering. 

This is probably why he notices how quiet Yibo is only when they stop for a break after a couple of hours, and he can finally stand up and stretch.

Allen and Mark are talking about something near their snowmobiles, and Yibo stands up silently, eyes glued to them.

“Yib―”

“Allen, do you ride motorcycles?” Yibo asks suddenly, not noticing that Xiao Zhan was trying to talk to him.

Allen turns to him with a wide grin.

“Aye! You?”

The next twenty minutes of their break is the two of them talking nearly in unison, gesticulating, interrupting each other and laughing. Yibo’s eyes are shining with delight and Xiao Zhan feels happy for him, that he can discuss his favorite hobby with someone who actually understands, and not just nods, agreeing, like Xiao Zhan does.

They ride their snowmobiles for a couple of hours more, take photos and selfies ― both Yibo and Xiao Zhan talking their way out of taking a group photo, not wanting to risk it turn out on the Internet somewhere where they can be recognised. Allen and Yibo throw some random motorcycles related phrases on their way back, raising their voices to reach over the sound of the motors, and Xiao Zhan can feel the boy’s ribs jerking in a laugh under his palms. 

They make a quick visit home to change into fresh clothes ― Yibo’s again, as Xiao Zhan’s are still damp after a washing machine ― and head to the restaurant they agreed to meet with Allen and Mark.

Restaurant turns out to be a karaoke-bar and Yibo looks so excited about this, that Xiao Zhan should probably get worried. 

It is moderately noisy inside and just the right level of dimly, that allows you to see what’s on your plate without bringing it up to your nose. Most tables are taken, and someone is rather decently singing an unfamiliar song at the small stage in the back of the room. 

They head to a free table near the wall with the couches instead of the usual chairs, order food, and Allen and Mark volunteer to get the drinks for all of them at the bar. They leave the table and Yibo follows them with his eyes, frowning thoughtfully. Xiao Zhan expects the boy to turn his attention back to him, but it doesn’t happen, Yibo’s eyes glued to the two men waiting for their queue at the bar, while chatting about something, and Xiao Zhan realises that today he has seen the back of Yibo’s head more than his face.

It makes Xiao Zhan feel restless, almost anxious. It irks him seeing Yibo look at someone so intensely, he is too used to his undivided attention by now, that when it is directed at someone else it simply feels wrong. 

“It’s strange not to feel you staring at me all the time for a change,” he says.

Yibo turns to him. He raises his brows and his lips curl in a smirk. “You can  _ feel  _ it?” he asks in amusement.

_ Hard not to feel when someone is looking at you like that _ , Xiao Zhan thinks, suddenly feeling irritated, not by Yibo, but his own thoughts.

“Not anymore, considering you apparently have found someone more interesting,” he says.

He didn’t intend for it to sound like that, too rough to his own ears, too grumpy, like he hasn’t spoken in more than a year, since the exhaustion of  _ The Untamed  _ filming was making him irritable. Brief surprise crosses Yibo’s face, and then it arranges itself in a mix of mischievous, curious and happy. 

“You can  _ feel  _ me looking at you? How does it feel, Zhan-ge?” he asks, the lack of a smile adding more weight to the question, like he really needs to know the answer.

_ Like you burn me. Like you burn through me.  _

“Like you are trying to drill a hole in my head with your eyes,” Xiao Zhan grumbles.

Yibo chews on his lips, and turns away, eyes back on the two men at the bar counter. Xiao Zhan waits for an answer but it doesn’t come.

“What is so interesting about them?” he asks finally, not able to keep it to himself anymore.

Yibo turns to him again and opens his mouth to answer, but then suddenly smirks briefly, and props his chin on his palm.

“Xiao-laoshi shouldn’t be jealous!” He deadpans, lips trembling trying to keep a serious mask that Xiao Zhan of course doesn’t believe. “Xiao-laoshi is the only one I want to look at until the end of times!” he finishes and then grins, looking almost proud of himself, and Xiao Zhan just rolls his eyes.

“Then look,” he mumbles under his breath, catching Yibo’s surprised glare from the corner of his eye.

Mark and Allen return to the table, bringing the glasses of beer with them. New song starts and Xiao Zhan looks up at the stage. A young man and a woman are holding hands and singing, or at least attempting to, some cheery but romantic song, laughing, when they can’t hit the correct notes. Allen looks at them, makes a disgusted face and gets Mark’s elbow in the ribs. They both hiss at each other and Xiao Zhan shakes his head with a laugh. 

Yibo’s eyes dart between the couple on stage and the arguing boys, and he parts his lips, engrossed in whatever it is he sees, that Xiao Zhan is really dying to know by this point. 

“We should go sing too, Zhan-ge!” Yibo says, turning to him.

“Huh? What did he say?”

“That he wants us to sing too. English, Yibo.”

“You guys can sing?”

“I know what you are thinking, Yibo, and I doubt they have  _ Wuji _ .”

“What’s wuji?”

“I have the music on my phone, will just ask to use it, c’mon, ge!”

“And then it will turn out on the internet somewhere and we both will have interesting conversations with our managers. No, Yibo.”

“You’re on vacation, why would your bosses mind what you do here, eh?”

Yibo sends Allen a puzzled look and turns back to Xiao Zhan, chewing his lip.

“Zhan-ge…” he starts again.

Xiao Zhan shakes his head and repeats, “No, Yibo. Be reasonable. And stop biting your lips!”

Yibo frees his lower lip from his teeth, licks it and looks at Xiao Zhan stubbornly.

“Yibo…”

“Fine! I’ll go alone,” Yibo says, grabbing his phone from the table and standing up. “Let me out, ge!” He starts making his way from the corner he has been sitting in before Xiao Zhan moves, not that he can now, that with Yibo practically climbing over his lap. 

Allen whistles, Mark laughs and Xiao Zhan feels his cheek heat up. 

Yibo makes a beeline to a small desk in the opposite corner where the person controlling the music for karaoke is sitting in front of the laptop. Xiao Zhan thinks that even Yibo’s back looks angry. In such a mood, Xiao Zhan can’t even presume which song Yibo might choose. He is not drunk enough for  _ EOEO _ at least, so that’s the saving grace. 

Yibo makes some arrangements with the karaoke-person and waits at the side of the stage until the young couple finishes their song.

“Does he sing well?” Mark asks Xiao Zhan, and Xiao Zhan smiles, turning to him and nodding.

“Yes. And he’s made great progress this year,” he says proudly. He doesn’t know when the boy finds time for singing practice, but their latest performances of  _ Wuji _ are so much better than their first one, mostly because of the way Yibo has learned to fit his voice in every note of his part, sounding so much stronger and more confident than before. Xiao Zhan can’t help but feel proud, though there is nothing he personally did for this.

The music starts playing, and Xiao Zhan recognises the song from the first few sounds of a piano. He turns to look at the stage, and sees Yibo standing in the middle of it, mic in hand. The boy smiles seeing Xiao Zhan looking at him, his eyes locking with Xiao Zhan’s, when he lifts up the mic to his lips and starts singing. 

His voice is soft, as his eyes and the smile, that pulls on his lips in brief pauses between the lines. There is no trace of former anger on his face and Xiao Zhan questions himself if he just imagined it. And it takes Xiao Zhan several lines of the song to realize Yibo has changed the first line of it.

_ He fell in love with him by accident _

Xiao Zhan feels his heart skip a beat and then pick up the pace. Yibo’s voice rises in its strength as the song goes on, his eyes fixed on Xiao Zhan ― familiar, piercing, burning, the way it should be. 

_ A pair of hands is tight and can't let go _

Xiao Zhan is smiling, mirroring Yibo’s smile, admiring it, admiring the way his voice sounds, so different from his own, a little lower, softer but rougher; probably that’s why their voices match so perfectly when they perform together.

“Wow, do you think if we plug them both to generators it’ll be enough to electrify this town?” Xiao Zhan hears Allen say.

“Where exactly do you wanna plug them?”

The song is coming to an end and Xiao Zhan wishes he could come up that stage and sing their favorite  _ Wuji _ with Yibo together, as the boy asked him, but he sees a couple of people with their phones up, recording the performance, and Xiao Zhan forces himself to stay where he is.

_ I miss you now _

The song ends, and Yibo slowly lowers the mic, still looking at Xiao Zhan with that incredible smile of his, bright like the sun, and Xiao Zhan can’t move his eyes away from him, when he hops down from the stage and heads back to their table.

Xiao Zhan moves to free the seat for him, Yibo still looking at him, with emotions so nakes and raw in his eyes, Xiao Zhan finds it hard to breath. 

How did this happen? When did this happen? 

What deities Xiao Zhan should thank for this?..

“I didn’t understand shit but that sounded like a love song to me,” Allen says, breaking the bubble, and Xiao Zhan blinks, turning to him, still feeling Yibo’s eyes on him. “Why do you never sing for me?!” Allen adds, shoving Mark’s shoulder.

“Because I can’t sing.” Mark answers flatly. “That sounded great, Yibo,” he adds.

Allen shakes him and Mark rolls his eyes. “But it’s so romantic! Look at them!” He points between Xiao Zhan and Yibo and Xiao Zhan laughs breathlessly.

“You want me to go there and embarrass myself in front of all these people?”

“Your turn now, Zhan-ge,” Xiao Zhan hears Yibo say in Chinese and turns to him. “I danced for you yesterday and sang today, you owe me, Zhan-ge!”

“What is he saying?”

“That he danced and sang for me and now I owe him.”

“Hey!”

“He danced for you?! Grand!”

“I will sing for you later, alright?” Xiao Zhan tells Yibo. “Not here.”

“Was it a lap dance?! Hey! What?! Stop pinching me, Mark!”

“That’s a promise, Zhan-ge,” Yibo says, smirking.

“Yes, yes, okay, Yibo.”

“So,” Mark says, holding Allen on his arm’s length by a shoulder, while Allen is trying to reach to his side presumably to either tickle or pinch him. Mark lifts his glass of beer and takes a sip completely ignoring his cursing friend. “How did you guys meet?..” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And while you are waiting for the next chapter, make sure you haven't missed my [oneshot about Xiao Zhan falling in love with Yibo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21468301) ^_^


	8. Day 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month! Sorry for this wait, but this break actually let me approach this chapter from a better angle and I'm happy with how it came out.
> 
> Meanwhile I wrote a [oneshot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085611) about that video where Yibo said "Zhan-ge, wo ai ni" ("I love you"). Check it out and give it some luv! <3

It feels good having Yibo’s attention back on him. Xiao Zhan enjoys it, he always has, no matter how selfish it might have been. Yibo’s eyes on him, warm smile, singing that song, shining so bright, and Xiao Zhan wants to delude himself ― for him only. It is bizarre to realise he almost missed Yibo those short hours of today when the boy was so close and yet Xiao Zhan was barely in the focus of his attention. 

When did it come to this that Xiao Zhan became so addicted to Yibo’s gazes? How is he going to live his life after they have to return back and part ways after this vacation is over? Will their usual chatting and rare phone calls be enough then?.. 

“So, how did you guys meet?” Mark asks, interrupting Xiao Zhan’s quite horrifying musings. Mark sets his glass on the table and Allen stops his assault on him and looks between Xiao Zhan and Yibo curiously.

They haven’t mentioned their celebrity status before, and Xiao Zhan wonders if he should come up with something more neutral. He is not eager to lie, but hanging out with someone who treats them as ordinary people has felt really good for a change, so perhaps it wouldn’t really― 

“We were leads in a TV drama,” Yibo says, turning to the two men.

Nevermind.

Allen whistles, clearly impressed, and leans forward on his elbows.

“You mates are actors?! Grand!”

Mark hums to himself, raising a brow, and smiles with a small polite smile.

“That is very interesting. Did you―”

“So, you’re, like, famous?! And two leads is like one is a villain and another’s a hero?” Allen interrupts him, laughs and then downs half of his glass in one go.

“I’m sure they don’t want to talk about work on vaca―”

“You said, you’re from China, aye?! My lil sister is full effing delira over some chinese series, has been going on and on about it, wait a sec.” 

Xiao Zhan glances worriedly at Yibo, noting him withdrawing behind his cold mask. The boy swallows and fidgets in his seat, looking suddenly uncomfortable, and sends a quick uncertain look Xiao Zhan’s way. 

“Why did you tell them then?” Xiao Zhan asks him quietly in Chinese, and Yibo shakes his head slightly.

“I don’t know,” he hisses, sounding more upset than angry, and Xiao Zhan just sighs, turning back to their european friends, entertaining the hope that it might happen, that Allen’s little sister’s favorite drama is not  _ The Untamed _ . 

Allen scrolls on his phone, then scowl, mouths something and curses under his breath.

“Can’t effing read that,” he says pushing his phone screen up across the table to Xiao Zhan. “This one.”

On the screen there is a photo of a wall with a poster on it, with him, Yibo, Yu Bin, Wang Zhuocheng and Liu Haikuan posing in their  _ The Untamed _ costumes. Xiao Zhan tilts the phone to show the screen to Yibo, who makes a low  _ Mm _ sound. 

“That’s us, the two in the middle,” Xiao Zhan admits, pointing on the photo, and returns the phone to Allen, who grabs it and lifts it to his face, looking at the screen, at Xiao Zhan, Yibo and then at the screen again.

“What, you played fairies, or something?!” He laughs and slams his free hand on the table, making the glasses jump. A couple of people at the tables nearby glance at them, but soon find a guy on the stage who is very poorly singing a Bob Marley’s song more interesting, and turn away.

Mark sighs and moves the glasses farther from the overexcited Allen.

“You are screaming again, honey.”

“Shit, my sister will lose her effing mind when I tell her I’ve met you both!” Allen declares happily and Xiao Zhan practically feels how tense Yibo gets at that.

“You can’t tell her!” Yibo says, leaning forward. “No one knows we are here together. My manager will hand my ass to me if she finds out I’m here with Zhan-ge!”

“You didn’t tell her?!” Xiao Zhan asks him and Yibo lifts his eyes back at him.

“Of course I didn’t, you think she’d let me go then?!”

“I thought you didn’t care.”

“She’d drag me straight to the CEO, he’d make me eat my contract. All eighty four pages!”

“Wow, man, you have such huge contract?!” Allen interrupts them.

Yibo winces like he’s eaten a lemon, looking more distressed than Xiao Zhan has ever seen him, and Xiao Zhan puts his hand on Yibo’s hand on the table, and brushes the sharp knuckles with his fingers, trying to soothe him. 

“Yibo?” he asks hesitantly, but the boy just shakes his head without looking up at him.

“I am sorry for this,” Xiao Zhan hears Mark say, but he doesn’t look away from Yibo’s face. The boy watches slow movement of Xiao Zhan fingers against his hand and looks four parts upset and one part scared. “If it is that serious, I am sure Allen won’t say a word that he saw you two. Right?”

“That sucks, mate. Is it, like, not allowed to date ‘cause you’re famous or something, or your country is just effing homophobic?” Allen asks in that straightforward manner of his that after the two days of knowing him Xiao Zhan has learnt not to be offended by.

Yibo looks up sharply, his hand jerks under Xiao Zhan’s, and he has to tighten the grip of his fingers not to let Yibo yank his hand away in this attempt to apparently not give the two men some wrong impression.

Well, too late for that.

The three of them speak at once in reaction to Allen’s question.

“You are being rude again, darling,” Mark says, and this time Xiao Zhan actually acknowledges the pet name and he hears something click in his head and he wants to smack himself for not realising this before, when he says,

“Both,” along with Yibo’s defensively aggressive,

“We are not dating!”

Xiao Zhan allows himself only to blink against an unexpected sting in his chest, and he carefully lets go of Yibo’s tense hand, more feeling than seeing the boy’s piercing gaze on the side of his face.

It is the truth, really, he should’ve said that as well, and now it seems they gave the two men in front of them some mixed signals, judging by Mark’s slightly confused look and Allen’s loud  _ Huh? _

Xiao Zhan feels sympathetic ― he has received a million of mixed signals from Yibo in the past year and a half that they’ve known each other. 

Granted, the both of them have given as many to the millions of their fans, if the constant flow of rumors and poorly edited photos of the two of them on  _ Weibo  _ that even resulted in their respective managements giving them both pep talks and declining some of the invitations to the shows that wanted to place the two of them on the same stage is something to judge by.

Not really surprising considering the roles they played and the amount of videos with them from behind the stage and different interviews that could give so much room for interpretation and conspiracy theories.

Another thing entirely when it takes just two not even full days for the people who hadn’t even known who they were to come up with the same idea.

Xiao Zhan doesn’t let himself dwell on it. Not now.

Mark recovers first, wiping off the surprised expression off his face and smiling politely ― Xiao Zhan hasn’t asked, but he can bet the man is either an actor as well, a lawyer or a politician, with such excellent control over his face.

“Apologies,” he says, looking at Yibo and slightly tilting his head to the side. Xiao Zhan can see from the corner of his eye that the display is completely lost on Yibo who is still drilling a hole in Xiao Zhan’s temple. “We shouldn’t have assumed,” Mark finishes, turning to Xiao Zhan with the same polite smile.

Xiao Zhan mirrors it and just nods silently, turning to Yibo, who now has his arms folded on the table in front of him and is looking up at Xiao Zhan with wide eyes. He sees Xiao Zhan look at him, and tilts his head, stretching his neck, his face holding a mix of a billion questions with a million accusations, and Xiao Zhan only offers him a smile, neutral but slightly warmer than the one he has given Mark a moment ago.

“How come you haven’t recognised them earlier?” Xiao Zhan hears Mark hiss at his partner.

“How the fuck should I know, they all look kinda the same― Ouch! Why?!”

“That’s racist, Allen, do you even think before opening your mouth?!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m bad with faces! How is this racist! They all have long dark hair there and fine faces!”

Yibo blinks and turns to send a cold look Allen’s way, eyes half-lidded in his usual angry mask, that almost makes Yibo look intimidating. Almost, but not to those who know him well enough, like Xiao Zhan does. Might work on Allen though, Xiao Zhan thinks.

“You mixed up our names before because you think we look the same?” Yibo asks in a flat voice.

“No, I’m just bad with names either,” Allen says with a sheepish smile. “How can I mix you up, he is a handsome fella and you are a cute chiseler,” he adds, pointing at the two of them, his smile turning into a smug grin.

Mark shakes his head, clicking his tongue. “You know, one day someone will kick your ass for such comments.”

Yibo straightens up, licks his lips and narrows his eyes more. “What is  _ chiseler _ ?”

“But you’ll protect me, aren’t you, luv?”

“What is  _ chiseler _ ?” Yibo repeats, looking at Mark.

“I wouldn't be so sure,” Mark tells Allen before looking at Yibo and answering, “It means  _ a kid _ .”

Xiao Zhan hides a grin behind his hand, watching Yibo practically pale in anger, when the boy turns sharply back to Allen.

Mark smirks and pats Allen’s shoulder.

“...and today might be that day.”

“I’m not a kid and I’m not cu―”

“Bo-di, I think that second beer was too much for me,” Xiao Zhan interrupts him in Chinese and waits for Yibo to look at him before making his best puppy eyes and continuing, “Do you think you can bring me some water from the bar? Please, didi?”

Xiao Zhan feels a bit guilty when the angry grimace instantly falls off Yibo’s face, replaced by the soft worry, and he makes a mental note to later somehow compensate such dirty manipulation for the boy. Yibo nods, mumbling, “Of course, Zhan-ge,” and takes off after gently patting Xiao Zhan’s arm.

Xiao Zhan sighs and gives himself a moment to feel like a very bad person.

“A handful, that one, huh?” Allen asks and Xiao Zhan and Mark give him two matching looks that Xiao Zhan hopes are saying  _ Look who’s talking  _ loud enough.

Allen laughs raising his hands dismissively and leans back in his seat, picking up his beer from the table.

“So, I can’t take a selfie with them then?” he asks Mark after taking a sip.

Mark glances at Xiao Zhan who gives him an apologetic smile.

“I’m afraid not,” Mark says. “You also can’t tell your sister you’ve met them.”

“Well, shit,” Allen mumbles, looking genuinely upset, and downs the rest of his beer.

Xiao Zhan taps a finger on the table, contemplating, and eventually takes pity.

“Perhaps you can take a photo with just one of us?” he suggests and Allen perks up at that instantly.

Yibo chooses this moment to return to the table, and he sits down, putting a glass of water in front of Xiao Zhan.

“You are not taking selfies with Zhan-ge!” He says, pointing a finger at Allen, that the man pushes away with a laugh. It is not the first time when Yibo acts possessive over Xiao Zhan and Xiao Zhan can’t decide whether he feels more flattered or worried. A glass and a half of beer in his system help to tip the balance toward the former, and he chuckles quietly, sipping the cold water Yibo has brought through a straw. 

“Fine, fine, easy, no one’s touching your Zhange.”

“What about you?” Mark looks at Yibo. “If Allen takes a photo with you, it will fit your story of going on vacation alone. Isn't it Yibo?”

Yibo chews on his lip stubbornly, and Xiao Zhan props his cheek in his palm tilting his head and watching Yibo’s face. It is amusing, really, just a few hours ago Yibo and Allen seemed to be the best buddies, talking about motorcycles and god knows what else, and now the boy is clearly holding down a pout ― Xiao Zhan can see it in the tension in the corners of his mouth ― because Allen has managed to be more obnoxious than Yibo at his best times.

“You are so smart, baby, that’s why I love you!” Xiao Zhan hears Allen declare enthusiastically, and he turns to look at the two men just in time to see Allen turn Mark’s face to him by a hand on his chin and press their lips together in a short but a very passionate kiss.

Xiao Zhan straightens up slowly, feeling his cheeks heat up and he glances at Yibo who is staring at the two men with wide eyes, his ears red and jaw slack, and Xiao Zhan wonders if Yibo hadn’t picked up the hints up until now, or he had and it is just the PDA that shocked him.

Allen jumps up from his seat, rounds the table, and without waiting for an approval, crouches, puts an arm around Yibo’s shoulders and takes a few quick selfies, drawing,  _ “Cheese!” _

Xiao Zhan can only imagine what kind of face Yibo probably has on these photos.

Allen scrolls through the resulted photos, laughs and puts the phone away.

“Damn, I was so excited I forgot I wanted to pee!” he declares loudly, and Marks sigh and rolls his eyes on him.

“The whole bar doesn’t need to know about that.”

“I’m off to the jacks,” Allen adds and walks away.

Xiao Zhan muses at the thoughtful look on Yibo’s face before Mark draws his attention to him, saying,

“I’m sorry about him. He can be a bit too much but he means well. I can assure you he won’t tell anyone about seeing you both, I know him.”

Xiao Zhan opens his mouth to answer but Yibo suddenly unfreezes, licks his lips and leans forward, looking intensely at Mark.

“You are allowed to kiss in public?” he asks bluntly and Xiao Zhan feels his cheeks, that only just cooled down, heating up again.

“Yibo!”

Mark raises a confused brow and looks between the two of them and then asks carefully, “Is it not allowed in China?”

“Not everywhere, but mostly allowed, of course,” Xiao Zhan says and gives Yibo a pointed  _ shut-the-fuck-up _ look that the boy completely ignores.

“No,” Yibo says, shaking his head dismissively. “I mean, in Europe two men can kiss on the streets?” he asks in wonder, blinking and Xiao Zhan can only whisper his name, suddenly feeling completely mortified.

“Yibo…”

At least this seems to answer Xiao Zhan’s previous question about the reason for Yibo’s recent shock… He is a bit ashamed to be surprised that Yibo was more observant that him. Was it why the boy was staring at the two men that intensely today? And to think that Xiao Zhan felt jealous because of this… 

“Mostly, yes,” Mark says. “Some countries also allow same sex marriages.” Yibo looks down, seemingly lost in his thoughts, and Mark pauses. Xiao Zhan can see him giving him a glance from the corner of his eye, but Xiao Zhan is too busy watching the work of thought on Yibo’s face. “You didn’t know?” Mark asks finally, sounding a bit unsure.

“I knew,” Yibo answers darkly. “About marriages. Not…” he trails off and makes a vague gesture with his hand.

Without Allen to stir things up, with Yibo lost in his thoughts and Xiao Zhan still trying to process meeting a gay couple for the first time in his life while he himself has been having what he now can admit to himself a minor gay crisis for the past couple of months with his confusing feelings toward Yibo and Yibo making it only more confusing with his constant flirting, the silence that falls after this is nothing but awkward. 

He suddenly feels nervous and almost scared, but before his fight-or-flight response can kick in he hears Mark clearing his throat and he looks at the man.

“I should apologise,” Mark says. “It is not just Allen, we both assumed…” He trails off but it is clear what he means regardless. “Anyway, we should’ve asked before jumping to conclusions,” he goes on and then glances briefly at Yibo who is staring at his hands on the table gloomily. “Or not…” Mark adds under his breath. 

“It is alright, we are…” Xiao Zhan begins, looks at Yibo, hoping to get some support from the boy, but to no avail. He coughs and smiles. “Actually we are used to it,” he says and he thinks he feels Yibo getting even gloomier at that. Mark raises a surprised brow. “Comes with a job,” Xiao Zhan clarifies. “It’s complicated.”

Yibo lifts his head, blinking and asks suddenly, looking at Mark,

“How long are you two together?”

Today is the day of surprises, Xiao Zhan concludes. Seeing Yibo being interested in someone else’s lives and actually asking questions that are not related to motorcycles or skateboard is, really, the least surprising of it all.

“Four years this month,” Mark answers and smiles, differently from before, his face getting soft and almost dreamy. Xiao Zhan catches himself feeling almost envious for a brief moment. “This trip is actually a sort of an anniversary vacation,” Mark adds.

...Allen returns in the middle of his story about them getting together that Mark was all too happy to share after Yibo’s enthusiastic question, and joins in, adding a bit too many details for Xiao Zhan’s liking, but he doesn’t object, because Yibo is listening with his mouth open, eyes bright and ears red, and Xiao Zhan, though not feeling ready to join this uncharted territory of a conversation, enjoys watching him.

It is bizarre, surreal even, to get a peek not just into other people’s lives, but into a whole culture, that seems to care very little about who people are allowed to be with, and Xiao Zhan can’t help but feel a bit bitter, but at the same time almost morbidly excited for being here now, if only temporary. 

He watches Yibo and is afraid to let himself hope, but he painfully wants to, so for this short time, sitting at the table with the two men who are not afraid to show their affection to each other, he lets himself relax a bit, and he lets himself hope, and when he notices Yibo nervously pulling at the material of his pants under the table, he slides a bit closer and reaches out to cover Yibo’s hand with his. 

Yibo’s eyelashes flicker and a corner of his mouth pulls up slightly, and his fingers lace with Xiao Zhan’s, and his hand is warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially I planned to finish it on a cliffhanger, but I think it is better this way. Hope you enjoyed reading it! Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Irish eng slang in this chapter:  
Grand = great, ok, all good etc  
Delira = excited  
Chiseler = young kid  
Fine thing = beautiful   
“I’m off to the jacks” = to the toilet   
Aye = yes


	9. Day 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Splitting this chapter in two parts, coz ya'll are so impatient, so there, an update.

On the way to their chalet Yibo takes Xiao Zhan’s hand before he can pull on a glove on it. He doesn’t accompany this gesture with any comment, just silently sliding his warm fingers between Xiao Zhan’s like it is not something new for them, like it doesn’t send an excited and nervous flicker to Xiao Zhan’s heart, like it is completely normal, and Xiao Zhan gives Yibo’s hand a gentle squeeze and thinks that probably now it is.

Yibo is tipsy from the beer and the long day, and Xiao Zhan is glad he switched to water early enough to be lucid now to fully appreciate the way Yibo is nearly bouncing with every step, looking around at the little lit up buildings and throwing his head back to stare at the starry night sky. He looks at Xiao Zhan once in a while with slightly unfocused but happy eyes and almost chirps, “Zhan-ge!” and then looks back at the stars only to turn to Xiao Zhan again later with another cheery _ Zhan-ge, _making Xiao Zhan’s heart skip a beat each time he does it. 

It will never stop to amaze Xiao Zhan how Yibo likes speaking up his name, so clearly enjoying doing it, like a kid rolling a candy on his tongue, and Xiao Zhan had never thought he would like hearing his own name so much before that first _ Zhan-ge _ last summer. 

They are halfway home, and Xiao Zhan is smiling, wide and free, and almost laughing breathlessly from all the joy filling him. The late evening is quiet, and Yibo turns to him again, breathing out, “Zhan-ge”, gentle and almost caressing, and Xiao Zhan moves his lips in a quiet _ Bo-di, _and Yibo lights up even more, and Xiao Zhan is suddenly overwhelmed by a sharp breathtaking desire to kiss him.

Air leaves his lungs and he stops suddenly, pulling his hand from Yibo’s grip and burying his face in his palms, hiding his breathless quiet laughter, and he shuts his eyes, just counting ― _ one-two-three… ― _ willing his mind into clarity, and something immature and giddy and loud is jumping inside him and chanting, _ Do it, do it, do it. _

He feels like a teenager that is for the first time having a crush on someone. He thinks he didn’t even feel like that when he _ was _ a teenager. Has he _ ever _ felt like that before, with anyone? He slides his hands just a bit down his face to peek up above them. Yibo watches him with concern that gives place to a grin when he no doubt spots the way Xiao Zhan’s eyes are half squinted from a mad wide smile he is hiding behind his palms. And he realises, the answer is _ no. _

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo sings, steps closer, and repeats softly, making a wave of warmth run through Xiao Zhan and make home behind his ribs, “Zhan-ge?”

_ You’ve crawled under my skin, _ Xiao Zhan want to say. _ You’ve made yourself at home in my head and my heart, _he wants to say, and lets himself be briefly disgusted by his own sappiness that he never thought himself to be capable of.

He notices that his hands are no longer covering his face only when he sees them on the sides of Yibo’s. He blinks, watches Yibo briefly squinting his eyes in delight, before opening them and focusing on Xiao Zhan’s face. Yibo licks his lips, and smiles, stunning, blinding, so happy, it almost hurts to watch; Xiao Zhan sucks in a breath, a sudden thought, _ He _ ** _expects _ ** _ it, _ goes through his mind like a bullet, and before he knows what he is doing, he is tugging Yibo’s hat down on his nose and making a run for it, laughing as he probably haven’t laughed since the filming of _ The Untamed. _

Behind the squeaking of snow under his feet he can barely hear a muffled curse followed by a croaking laughter, and then he has to speed up because Yibo starts running after him, screaming,

“Xiao-laoshi is too old to be running like that! Think of your heart!”

Xiao Zhan is very much thinking of his heart, that is beating rapidly in his chest, knowing too well the impromptu late night jogging is only half of the reason for that.

Xiao Zhan bends down and grabs a handful of snow, making a snowball on the go. He looks over his shoulder, not really surprised to discover Yibo just a few steps behind him, and throws the snowball at the boy. He misses, and Yibo laughs like a goblin, making a dash, closing up the remaining distance between them, and Xiao Zhan thinks it is a miracle that the two of them don’t dive faces down into the nearest snowdrift, when Yibo jumps on his back, arms around Xiao Zhan’s neck, squeezing Xiao Zhan’s hips in a dead grip of his thighs, hanging from him like a monkey.

Xiao Zhan makes a surprised noise, sways, while Yibo laughs in his ear, adjusting his grip and pressing his cheek to Xiao Zhan’s ear, that is burning both from the cold, Yibo’s proximity and all the wild thoughts, and hopes, and desires swarming Xiao Zhan’s mind. He has to stop to hook his hands under Yibo’s thighs, while Yibo is playing with his scarf, breathing heavily after the short run. 

“Is Wang-laoshi a little monkey now?” he asks, chucking, and starting to slowly walk in the direction of their chalet.

Yibo slaps him across the face with the end of his own scarf, and Xiao Zhan pretends he is about to throw him off his back. Yibo yelps and clings to him even harder.

“For calling me little, you will carry me all the way to the chalet now, Zhan-ge,” he says. As if Xiao Zhan had any choice in the first place. “It is your turn now, anyway.”

Xiao Zhan is trying not to focus on how Yibo’s thigh is solid and warm against his palm that doesn’t have a glove on, but redirecting his attention someplace else only makes him too aware of Yibo’s hot breath against the skin of his cheek, and he asks absentmindedly,

“My turn?”

Yibo hums and puts his chin on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder.

“Yep. I carried you during the filming last year. Your turn now, Zhan-ge.”

They pass one of the chalets with some party inside ― the windows are open, letting the music out, and they can hear the loud cheery voices of the people inside, a couple of them standing on the porch, smoking and discussing something lively, not paying any attention to them, when they pass them.

Xiao Zhan waits until they are far enough that the music won’t muffle his voice, and says,

“Actually, I gave you a ride on my back in summer already, so now _ you _ owe me one, Wang-laoshi.”

“Mm,” Yibo hums somewhere against his neck, sending goosebumps all over Xiao Zhan’s skin, and Xiao Zhan can’t even think how bad it is, this situation, how risky, how wrong, because how can it be all that, when it feels so good and so right? “No, you didn’t.”

Xiao Zhan chuckles, adjusts his grip on Yibo, trying to ignore that he has to slide his hands higher up on Yibo’s thighs to hold him better, and only muses absentmindedly, how different this is now from the way he felt a few months ago, carrying Yibo on his back as he does now.

“You were so drunk, Yibo, no wonder you’ve forgotten,” he says with a chuckle, and Yibo hums.

“Zhan-ge is so caring, Zhan-ge is the best, not making his poor drunk didi walk on his own,” Yibo declares merrily in his ear, and Xiao Zhan laughs.

“It was either that or let you cry alone.” Yibo makes a half-jump, as much as his position on Xiao Zhan’s back allows it, and Xiao Zhan has to let go of one of his legs in order to smack his ass for almost making him lose his footing. “Can you be still, Yibo, eh?! We will both fall down like that.”

“I never cry!” Yibo shouts, and Xiao Zhan winces, turning his head a little and giving Yibo an unimpressed side glare, that is probably a lost effort, when Yibo can’t even see his whole face now. Yibo huffs, pushes on Xiao Zhan’s shoulders, pulling himself higher, and puts his chin on Xiao Zhan’s head. Xiao Zhan feels a little trapped and very dizzy, and he can feel the sound resonate in Yibo’s throat against the back of his head, when the boy speaks again. “I either fall asleep or get chatty and jumpy when I’m drunk, you know this, ge.”

“Well, you did dance striptease on a table first…”

Yibo laughs, digging his chin in the top of Xiao Zhan’s head, and Xiao Zhan tilts his head, wincing, and Yibo hiccups drunkenly on his laugh when his head falls down and he fidgets on Xiao Zhan’s back for the upteenth time, and as much as Xiao Zhan’s body all hums in joy of being so close to Yibo, he really considers dropping the boy into a nearest snowdrift. 

“No way,” Yibo laughs, when Xiao Zhan recovers his balance. “What to?”

Xiao Zhan lets go of one of Yibo’s thighs, figuring the grip of Yibo’s legs around his hips is strong enough, and wraps his finger around his arm, not letting the boy lean too far back.

“_ EOEO _.”

Yibo tries to pull his hand out of Xiao Zhan’s grip, doesn’t succeed and huffs angrily in Xiao Zhan’s ear. His breath is warm and Xiao Zhan blames this on how hot his ear suddenly feels, no doubt bright red.

“Zhan-ge is so stupid,” Yibo breathes out in his ear. “Haven’t you seen the video, Zhan-ge? There is just pulling a t-shirt up for, like, two seconds, stupid gege.” He says the last part with his lips practically brushing the shell of Xiao Zhan’s ear, and Xiao Zhan swallows, pushing down a groan. His mouth is completely dry, and he wonders, how on Earth Yibo manages to sound more and more drunk with every passing second, when the cold fresh air should’ve made an opposite effect on him. Granted, Xiao Zhan doesn’t feel that sober either, and it has been literal hours since his second and the last glass of beer that he didn’t even finish, not trusting himself getting drunk near Yibo. 

Funny, how different everything now compared to just a few months ago when the two of them were similarly on the way home from a bar.

“You took it to another level, Yibo,” he says, and Yibo chuckles. And then licks his lips.

Xiao Zhan stops, squeezing his eyes shut, the phantom feeling of the tip of Yibo’s tongue on his ear setting his whole face on fire. Goosebumps run down his neck and the spine all the way to his tailbone, stopping there, tingling and almost burning. This is bad...

“Did you like it, ge?” He suddenly hears a whisper in his already abused ear. His eyes fly open and he lands several hard smacks on Yibo’s thigh, purely out of the pent-up frustration, and Yibo breaks in a croaking laughter, interrupted by yelps and tiny jerks to each of the slaps. 

Xiao Zhan feels almost delirious at this point. How did it even come to this?.. Something changed, snapped in him today, after Yibo singing that song to him, after seeing two boys kiss, right there in public, after listening to their story; after spending so much time in this place, in this _ it is allowed to love whoever you want _space ― hardly really much in the grand scheme of things, but everything compared to his everyday life back in China. 

It is almost impossible not to get consumed by this, not to get deluded by the possibilities, and all the doors opened to him here and now. 

By Yibo looking at him like he hung stars on the sky.

“Ah, Zhan-ge, I see!” Yibo whines with a pout in his voice, that Xiao Zhan doesn’t believe, “You didn’t! You made me cry, Zhan-ge! Because you didn’t like my amazing performance!”

Yibo is still talking too close to his ear, and Xiao Zhan tries to focus on steadying his frantically beating heart.

“You whined your way into me carrying you and then cried because apparently I don’t love you enough,” Xiao Zhan mumbles under his breath, without really thinking, but Yibo is practically all in his face and hears him.

He wiggles again and Xiao Zhan can see him attempting to peek at his face from the corner of his eye. Xiao Zhan glances at him and of course there is this one-sided sly smirk playing on Yibo’s lips.

“Of course Zhan-ge loves me, Zhan-ge wouldn’t have come to this vacation with me otherwise,” he says with an equal amount of smugness and teasing, and Xiao Zhan just sighs.

“You offered to pay for the accommodation and ended up renting the whole house, how could I resist an almost free vacation?”

Yibo lets out an exasperated and overly dramatic sigh.

“I knew it, Zhan-ge loves me only for my money!”

“Zhan-ge has enough money of his own.”

“Zhan-ge doesn’t even love me for my money! It’s even worse!”

Xiao Zhan has so much to say to this, but Yibo is drunk, and Xiao Zhan is _ scared ,_ and they are finally near their chalet, and he keeps his mouth shut cowardly, letting go of Yibo’s legs and carefully detaching the boy from him. Yibo is smiling dreamily, his eyes closed, slack in Xiao Zhan’s arms, and Xiao Zhan wraps his arm across Yibo’s waist while he is unlocking the door with his free hand.

“Open your eyes, Yibo, we’re home,” he says, entering the house, and letting go of Yibo, after making sure the boy’s eyes are open and he is standing straight. 

Xiao Zhan walks to the little table near the staircase, putting his keys on it. He unwraps his scarf and throws it at the table as well. He turns to Yibo, who is still standing in the doorway, door wide open.

“Yibo?” Xiao Zhan calls. “Will you please turn on the light?”

He only now notices that Yibo’s hand is already on the light switch near the door, and hears quite clicks when Yibo presses it several times.

“Zhan-ge…” Yibo says somehow small, almost uncertain. “The lights are not working….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more relationship progress in the next chapter, some cuddling and etc + nyctophobia


	10. Day 3-4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **IMPORTANT NOTE!**
> 
> Now, before you get too excited.
> 
> First of all, thank you all for all the attention you've given to this fic and for all you comments. I've read all of them, sorry that I didn't answer to some, but I am really grateful to all you kind words!
> 
> I have been attempting to finish this fic properly but it seems I am too out of the bjyx mindspace.
> 
> I had the beginning of this chapter since winter and I was able to write the end of it now coz I've had a pretty good idea of how I want it to look like. But other then that I can't offer you anything else.  
The middle part of this chapter is missing, and I am abandoning this fic after this. I officially admit defeat.
> 
> I might post some drafts I've had for this fic in the next chapter, please, if any of you feel like finishing this fic instead of me, feel free, just don't forget to tag this fic in "inspired by".
> 
> I really am true sorry that I was not able to finish this tory properly. I know how this might feel for you, and also of course I am upset with myself for not finishing smth that I started. Not the first time, but probably the first time when I gave up that early.
> 
> I hope you will like the little piece I offer you in this chapter.
> 
> Please, stay safe and healthy, and don't forget about social distancing these days. #StayHome
> 
> If you wanna chat, hit me up on twitter, I am quite often there these days: https://twitter.com/kamuiril
> 
> Cheers! <3

“Zhan-ge… The lights are not working….”

“Maybe a switch is broken, wait.” Xiao Zhan passes him and moves along the wall to where he remembers was another switch. He gropes for it, presses, presses again and again, but nothing happens. 

He can see Yibo’s dark silhouette in the doorway, the boy keeping the door open to let in some light from the white snow outside and rare street lights.

Xiao Zhan chews on his cheek, clicks the switch again and looks at Yibo. He can’t really see him well and he can’t hear him either, the boy barely breathing, completely frozen in the doorway.

“We need to close the door, Yibo, if the electricity is down in the whole house, we need to save the warmth.”

Yibo doesn’t correct his “house” to “chalet” as he usually does, and Xiao Zhan hurries to his side when the boy shuts the door.

There is a sharp intake of breath and then the silence and complete darkness falls.

“Yibo, you’re okay?” Xiao Zhan asks quietly and reaches carefully to find Yibo’s hand. It is tense and a bit sweaty when he finds it. He takes it in his, holding tight.

“Yeah,” finally comes the answer. Yibo sounds almost eerily calm, and Xiao Zhan knows him too well to be fooled by this. Yibo squeezes Xiao Zhan’s hand almost to the point when it is painful, but Xiao Zhan doesn’t let go. “We need to call the owner, he should send an electrician <...>  
  


  
**<text missing>**   
  


_[AN: the idea here was that they move the beds together coz Yibo is too anxious to sleep alone in the complete darkness]_

It takes a moment to find his hand in the dark, but Yibo’s fingers tighten around him as soon as Xiao Zhan touches his hand. 

Will it help?

…

  
**<text missing>**   
  
  
  
  


_[AN: the idea was that Yibo reminds XZ that he promised to sing him a song, so XZ sings Kepler. See related links:_

  * [Xiao Zhan singing “Kepler”](https://twitter.com/burninglight92/status/1150007739000582144?s=20) and [the fan edit of it](https://youtu.be/cIIYV23FPos)
  * [“Kepler” lyrics (chinese/english)](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oY-UCvb_Y3D_WVhlGB2MBV_UhMzuFsIpOiqMenSOKvo/edit?usp=sharing)
  * [Yibo smiling at XZ when XZ sings “Kepler”](https://twitter.com/lwjis/status/1172235691285254145?s=20) (and changes the song ending from _“I am no longer a lonely star"_ to "_I love a lonely star"_)]

_ “...I love a lonely star” _ , Xiao Zhan finishes quietly, once again changing the original line of the song, as he did once months ago. It feels different this time. The fanservice back then, fueled by something warm in his chest that was just barely there, still weeks to its full bloom, now, in the quiet of the dark house interrupted only by Yibo’s soft breathing mere centimeters from his face, with Yibo’s warm hand in his, here, when the time is almost frozen and they are not the idols, but just _ them _, it feels like almost a confession, like the one he made another night here, whispering the words in the similar darkness with only the warm light of the small lamp highlighting the features of the boy sleeping in the bed across. 

Yibo was asleep then. He is awake now, no doubt all the senses sharpened with the anxiety from being in the dark house.

They are silent for a bit after the song ends.

Xiao Zhan hears the soft rustle of the sheets and a little hitch in Yibo’s breath before he feels the boy pull closer to him. Their hands are still clasped together, and one of Yibo’s feet finds its way in between Xiao Zhan’s, slightly cold toes quickly warming up, and Xiao Zhan thinks, _ this is the closest we’ve ever been _ , and then Yibo sighs softly, and Xiao Zhan suddenly feels _ scared _ , and also _ excited _, and he closes his eyes, happy, but slightly nervous smile tugging on his lips.

“Yibo,” he exhales quietly.

Yibo lets out a breath and Xiao Zhan hears a smile in this little sound. He realises he can feel Yibo’s breath too close on his face a flicker of a second before something soft and warm touches his lips. His eyes fly open. It is too dark to see but he doesn’t need the light to feel the way Yibo’s nose brushes against his softly and the air leaves Yibo’s mouth to settle on Xiao Zhan’s lips where their lips are pressed gently against each other.

It is not even a kiss, it is barely there, just a brief broush of lips, a soft touch of closed mouths against each other, a blink, and then it’s gone, Yibo moving away with a quiet rustle of sheets, sighing, and Xiao Zhan blinks once, twice, his heart hammering in his chest, and he has never in his life felt so lost and confused, and yet at the same time so perfectly content.

“Yibo,” he whispers, and he is not sure if any sound even left his mouth, lips just moving around the familiar syllables.

“Mm,” Yibo hums quietly, sleepily, adjusting himself to press the top of his head into the crook of Xiao Zhan’s neck.

His hair smells like tropical fruits, sweet and a bit out of place, and Xiao Zhan nuzzles into it, letting the sweet scent into his lungs.

He feels like being stuck in limbo, and he doesn’t know how much time passes before his heart is no longer trying to escape his ribcage and he can finally think clearly.

“Yibo,” he whispers again. “We need to talk.”

Yibo is puffing out breath after breath against Xiao Zhan’s collarbone, fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stay safe and healthy, and don't forget about social distancing these days. #StayHome
> 
> If you wanna chat, hit me up on twitter, I am quite often there these days: https://twitter.com/kamuiril
> 
> Cheers! <3


	11. Unfinished drafts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned in the previous chapter here are some drafts I had for this fic. Feel free to use them if you want.

[1]

He started holding Yibo's gaze a breath longer than he used to and started turning back to him once he felt that smile directed at him, when before he would keep his eyes away scared to look. And this moment differences were enough to catch Yibo looking at him nearly in awe, intense and almost burning. Almost like his Lan Wangji was watching Xiao Zhan’s Wei WuXian back on set. Only with the added bright wide smile the effect of it was tenfold, making shivers run down Xiao Zhan’s spine, making him want to look away if only not to burn in the heat of Yibo’s love. Whichever love it was. Because it certainly was love and it has been foolish to try to deny or ignore it. Throwing all of himself in everything he was doing it is probably expected that the boy would approach this feeling from the same angle. 

  
  


[2]

“Zhan-ge, why exactly are you taking so many projects?” YiBo asks suddenly. “You have your own studio, can’t you decline more offers now?”

“Milking my fame.”

“Why? You are not in this for money. Why working yourself to the bone?”

“Is Wang-laoshi worried I’m getting so popular that I’ll get even more popular than Wang-laoshi?”

“It is not you.”

...

“How else can I see you at least somewhat regularly?

“I’m serious, Zhan-ge.”

... 

“..me too”

...

“Huh?!”

“What? ... ...”

“Yeah, that’s why you barely was able to free this week?!”

“Yibo, if I wasn’t keeping myself on top this week would’ve been the only time we see each other. This way we at least have some events planned where we can meet.”

... “You are not doing this just to see me.”

“Of course not. But it’s an extra motivator.”

“....”

“I miss you when I don’t see you for too long, Yibo.”

“You can’t just say that.”

“Why not? There is no one here who can hear me say that.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about!” 

  
  
[3]

It hits him suddenly, all at once. …. … and he is saying, “Oh. Oh, wow,” before he can think twice about it. YiBo turns to him with a question in his eyes and Xiao Zhan is well aware that he is looking at him like it is the first time he sees him, and in a way it actually is.

...

He has never been intrested in men before, but now he realises it is not a phisical thing, well, not primarily. It goes much deeper

...

He has never been in love before but he is sure that is what he feels now and he is only surprised that he hasn’t realised it earlier. Because it has been there for a while, hasn’t it?

...

What should he do? Should he do something? And if he doesn’t, will he be able to ignore the fireworks in his stomach each time he just looks at YiBo and keep a facade of not feeling anything toward him aside from frienship?

Will he be able to look at him when he smiles like that? Come to think of it, it has always been hard and he was always the first to avoid his eyes, though still feeling the weight of YiBo’s gaze at him, almost prickling on his skin. 

  
  
[4]

He leans his head down a bit, enough to press his forehead to YiBo’s. Their noses brush, it is the closest he’s ever been to him. He can feel YiBo’s shaky breaths on his lips. Warmth radiates from his skin, from the air of his exhale that settles down on Xiao Zhan’s lips. 

YiBo raises his hands and Xiao Zhan can feel the gentle touch of his fingers on the sides of his face. He sees YiBo close his eyes but neither of them move. It’s just a breath away, a literal breath away, this final step that would cross this line.

It is scary, to take it. It is exhilarating to think how easy it would be to do it.

YiBo makes a small sound, quiet and tiny, desperate.

Xiao Zhan lifts his hands and cradles YiBo’s face in his palms. YiBo’s breath hitches and Xiao Zhan closes his eyes and that little distance between their mouths.

  
[5]  
  


He is more conscions / aware of their interactuons now, but tries not to get it too much so not to misinterprret smth. Just noting what he feels, how Yibo looks at him etc

...  
  


and eventually he goes to weibo for answers. 

He watched some of their interviews before by he wasn’t too attentive, mostly noting his own expressions, making mental notes to how better handle that or another question in future. Right now he is watching all the clips and videos and watching Yibo and it strikes him …

How blind he was to never seeing this, how deaf to some of the things Yibo was saying. 

He is halfway through their interview for … when he hears his name behind the …

He looks up and Yibo is looking at him with worry 

“What are watching?” He asks

“Ah, just some old videos,” he answers vagualy. “Why?”

“You are crying.”

Xiao Zhan lift a hand an brushes his cheek surprised that his fingers come off damp. He didn’t even notice

  
[6]

“So foreceful.”

“Good to be young.”

“I’m only 28!”

“Right?! So old!”

(Start a hitting match)

“I love you so damn much, you know.”

….

“That’s where you say “I love you too Yibo”, ge”

“I don’t talk with such voice.”

“No? Mb this way then? ..”

“Still no” laughs

“Well I’m out of ideas I guess you gotta show me then”

  
  
  
  
[7]   
  


[AN: I had planned that amazing ending and feel bad for robbing you of it. 

Imagine this: they part ways in the airport back in China after their trip. They go separate ways, but Xiao Zhan suddenly hears Yibo calling out for him. You do remember how the Mo Dao Zu Shi novel ended, right?.. ;)]

“Zhan-ge!” …. “Zhan-ge, look at me, look at me now!”

….

_"Lan Zhan, look at me, look at me now!" From then on, he could never move his eyes away again._

  
  
  
[8]

#### [Bonus post vacation chapter]

They discover pretty soon in this new stage of their relationship, that YiBo’s lips get red very quick after kisses and this redness take way long to go down. 

...

He has to pick up doing make up again and he seems not so happy about it, but when Xiao Zhan asks him if they should just limit their make out sessions if they have to turn up public soon that day, Yibo looks at him like he’s grown a second head at it is as stupid as the first one. 

...

As if the first kiss turned some invisible switch in Yibo, he now seemed to be unable to stay away from kissing Xiao Zhan every moment possible

...

...

And that the society they live finds the mere idea of two men being in romantic relationship so unthinkable actually play in their gates. 

They are young, handsome and popular.

Come to think of it now when he looks back most of their interractions were borderline flirtacious but by the majority it was taken as the part of selling their images. 

...

They still joke around as before. 

...

It is difficult but it is not more difficult if he was in relationship with anyone else. He would still be away for the most part of the year for different projects and that YiBo is busy with his own actually makes it easier since none of them has to sit home and wait for another to return. 

They take what they can during the short breaks between the filiming, photoshoots, interviews, concerts etc etc

And he still gets to see YiBo’s gentle smile almost every night on the screen of his phone when they give each other video calls from the different cities … …

He now sees that, the difference between the smile YiBo gives others and the one that he looks at him with. 

And he wonders if his smile is also different. It must be, with all the tight clenching his chest does each time he only but thinks about YiBo. 

And he just hopes that others won’t see this difference because he really can’t help himself even with all his acting experience

...  
...

...  
  


Zhan-ge Zhan-ge you know what

What?

I love you

I love you more

No I you

I you

I love you longer

He doesn’t have anything to counter it with

**Author's Note:**

> Please, don’t forget to slam that **kudos** button, I will really appreciate it! 
> 
> Also, let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> [Check out my other BJYX fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFandomCausesHanaji/works?fandom_id=26740493)
> 
> Don't be a stranger:  
[**Twitter**](https://twitter.com/KamuiRil) [**Tumblr**](https://myfandomcauseshanaji.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fall in my hands like a star](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21468301) by [MyFandomCausesHanaji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyFandomCausesHanaji/pseuds/MyFandomCausesHanaji)


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